I need answers

My name is S…. Was hoping this was a more active site. I need answers. I need others who have been through near death experiences.

In the year of 1971 I was hit by a city bus while riding a bike. Even though I don’t recall the accident, I do recall my body in the street laying there, I saw it as I peacefully was floating up on a cloud of light. My body soon vanished as it got smaller and smaller.

It was a few months after that I first even recognized being told a bus had hit me.

My family told me I had been in a hospital, and they had to stay with me being the staff didn’t have time to watch for me. I was considered to have brain damage, and kept trying to leave the hospital naked.

I had a head injury, fractured skull, broken shoulder and scapula.

My first actually memory was 3 months later. I woke up by the sound of yelling in my mom’s home. My sister and mom were fighting I guess. I screamed. They came in. Told me I was hit by a bus. This was my first memory from after the accident. I don’t know if they had told me before or not, but this is the first thing I can remember since.

I recall always speaking about the universe in such detail, but yet I didn’t know what was makiing me talk about this. I was in such knowledge, but yet didn’t understand it. I talked about another whole world to me, but yet now I don’t recall a clue of anything I said back then.

I wish it was recorded. I think it would of helped many who had near death experiences.

LOVE. Love becomes more important then ever before, or at least with me.

I feel I’m not really in this world, but standing outside of it looking in.

I feel everyone is a part of me. To love….to worry about .

I find excuses for behaviors of others. Of weaknesses, experience, etc., that make them what they are today.

I don’t want to see others hurt. I don’t want to see others struggle.

But most of all, I wish people knew their weaknesses and their strong points and what makes them who they are today.

I see so many afraid of themselves, surrounding themselves with walls. It stops them from knowing what LOVE is all about or even how to truely LOVE another.

You must be able to understand yourself to understand another.
You must be able to LOVE yourself to LOVE another.
You must love your flaws. You must be ok with exactly who you are.

But yet so many have no clue who they are.

Funny, if you don’t dress fancy or nice, if you don’t wear makeup or have your hair combed the way it’s expected, you are not happy with yourself. But who made that rule or observation?

That stuff is only important if you made it important.

Fancy cars don’t mean a thing to me, nor does putting on a dress.

I have a lot of emotional pain. But it is not about me, as it is how I see the people in this world.

So much stress. So much into only themselves. So much not able to step out of their shoes to put themselves in someone elses shoes.

Sure I would love things to be different with me, but not as far as who I am as a person. We as people are all unique with our own stories that make us who we are today.

I can honestly say I would never change a thing about me. I love who I am. I have lots of pain, I feel…I love…I hurt…I cry, I care. I even love all my mistakes I have made in life. That makes me who I am. Sure I have weaknesses, sure I can use change to better myself. But who I am I will never want to change. I LOVE me, I respect me.

I come here for answers, then I get carried away with blabbing.

I just want to fill in everything that I don’t have answers to. And to find out if others with NDE are struggling too. And feeling like they are not really in this world, but looking at it from the outside at times.

(Yes, other NDEers do struggle, and feel they are outside looking in. They also have a lot of knowledge they don’t know where it came from. You had a near death experience, and there are a lot of experiencers here to help answer your questions, so ask away.)

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