Lekatt Thoughtful Living

While death seems like a topic everyone wants to avoid until they are 90 years old, it should be discussed because we are all headed that way. It’s all around us. Suicide is preventable and I will show you why. People are crying out for help and you may just be the person to save them. As people such as me know, even the most happy and successful people experience feelings of helplessness, worthlessness, and sadness.

Particularly, I will focus on the age group between 15-24. I think that suicide should be taken very seriously. I believe that at any age suicide is sad and is sometimes a selfish way to end your life. I think anyone who does this is not in their right mind and needs intervention just like a physical disease. While teen and college suicides can be avoided, they face struggles that are not going away which most people this age can relate to at one time in their lives and especially during these years. We must be aware of what surrounds this issue and we all must do our part to prevent these tragic deaths from happening and be aware of alternatives to suicide.

I think that life has always been fragile, even for our ancestors. Your life can be gone at any moment. No one is guaranteed even the next minute. If you think about the different ways people die, there are numerous causes. If you go back in history, even people as great as Abraham Lincoln had depression and thoughts of suicide (Stamp out Stigma).We still face many of the same hardships as our ancestors because we still are human and always will be. We are not exempt from stress just because we live in a modern world. All the negative things going on in the world can drive a person to seek a way out such as suicide.

What are some statistics about teen and college student suicide? Some decades ago, The World Health Organization found out that in 1982, Hungary had the greatest suicide rate out of over 20 European countries. One reason is because of their large population of chronic alcoholics. (Robbins.) We sure could lend a hand to them. In the United States, suicide was measured as the ninth reason of death. More than 30,000 people died from suicide in 1994.

Suicide is the source for 1 to 2 percent of all loss of life in the United States (Robbins 9). Even just 1 to 2 percent is a lot considering that even though the U.S. is the land of “opportunity and freedom,” suicide is still high on the charts as a reason of death. This to me is one of the greatest problems our country is facing today. A more current WHO study shows that young people are often in more jeopardy and that suicide is the second largest cause of dying too soon in the 10-24 age group (Reimer).

Let’s look at some more facts. “Every year, almost 1 million people commit suicide; this is approximately 3,000 deaths a day, or 1 death every 40 seconds” (Reimer). This means that somewhere in the U.S. another person is gone that could have gotten help but it’s now too late. “Approximately every 40 seconds, another family loses a loved one to suicide” (Reimer). That means a lot of families must be grieving at the same time. It is also likely to me that most families have or will probably lose someone to suicide during their lifetime. “27 percent of high-school students said they’d “thought seriously” about suicide in the past year; 8 percent said they’d actually tried to kill themselves. “10.3 percent of U.S. college students admitted serious thoughts of suicide; 6.7 percent had a suicide plan” (Meritt). That is like a third of the nation’s young people that are seriously thinking about suicide and those are the only ones who were brave enough to tell us.

Before you even think of suicide as an option, it’s important to think not just of what suicide would do to yourself, but also to those around you. I asked some ordinary people, how do you think your family and friends would react to your death? Do you think this is selfish? About half said suicide was selfish and half not. I think that each suicide varies case by case and no one understands all the person’s motives to why they did it. Abby said, “Most definitely. Suicide is selfish; I know that sounds hard, but the number one reason you’re depressed is because you’re looking at yourself. Your problems, what’s wrong with you, what kind of person you should be, what you should be doing, etc.” Jamie said, “I think they would be surprised and I think quite a few people would be disappointed and upset. It’s not selfish because anyone who dies is going to make people upset. I always wondered if once you die you could see your funeral and how people react to it. I know I would like to see how people react.” Abdul said, “Devastated. Yes it is selfish because your family and friends love you too, but it’s also not selfish too because it’s not in our hands. There is an example if a person is suffering and can’t handle the pain, that person may wish to die. Well in case of love, the pain you get, it’s kind of unbearable sometimes.” Kristin said, “I believe my friends and family would be negatively impacted by my suicide.” (I would cause them a lot of grief) Yeah I think it is selfish because we’re not thinking about how it would affect others and how they may need us.”

Then I asked: what are the major factors that affect the idea that suicide sounds better than life? The most obvious factor is stress. Out of the four people I interviewed all of them had a different word to express stress. The words were things like lack of motivation, depression, and anxiety. These words are things that lead to stress or changes in normal functioning. Jamie said, “I had low motivation to do anything. Everything seemed like I had to push myself in order to get it done. I didn’t really want to do anything and if I did I felt weak.” She is saying you lose your sense of enjoying and being interested in life. Abdul said, “I felt like it was the end of the world. For me it was the feeling of being extremely sad. It was also very hard to breathe.” He is saying that we almost forget to breathe because the heaviness of sadness is so extreme. Kristin said, “Yeah I’ve felt suicidal because I felt that social anxiety was overtaking me.” It seems that stress adds to what a person is feeling and can be too much at a time. Also the degree and to what extent these feelings are also plays a role. The higher the level of these feelings, the more likelihood you are going to act on them.

What are the theories according to professionals, in regards to the causes of suicide? The most common theories, for example, to why adolescents commit suicide are psychological, biological, and lifestyle choices like alcohol and drug use. The first theory is psychological. Freud pointed out that depression seems to be the typical emotional situation of many people attempting suicide (Robbins 4). The types of people that are more likely to commit suicide are those in a serious crisis, those who are deeply sad or anxious, and people who deal with anger problems (Merritt). I think anyone of those can make a person unstable enough to want to die. As another author put it, there are verbal, situational, behavioral, and depressive warnings (Leighton 185). Many young people who are mixed up about their sexual identity or who have experienced guilt or embarrassment, can see suicide as a way to stop their feelings that they should be “normal” (Merritt). ”Freud said there are two basic instincts, “eros” meaning life or sexual drive and “thanatos” a death wish. A writer named Hendin noted strong feelings of shame and the need to punish yourself as a characteristic of some teens and young adults. (Robbins 4). In other words, for your wrongdoings or to stop those intense feelings, suicide seems like the exit out of it. I think this seems a way to take the easy way out and escape life because death seems more peaceful.

The second theory is biological. Suicide tends to appear more often in families with histories of suicide occurring than by chance (Robbins 44). Twin studies suggest that there is some genetic significance on the likelihood of suicide. Changes in serotonin levels is also related to effect someone to commit suicide (Robbins 45). I am a twin and my sister hasn’t had as extreme thoughts as me to the point of suicide but my mother did, so that shows some genetic influence.

The last theory about drugs and alcohol as one of the main reasons as I mentioned earlier about Hungary, shows how this lifestyle choice can ruin your life. Those who mix alcohol with other prescription drugs can have devastating effects. The relief that drugs and alcohol give is temporary and the relief suicide offers is permanent,”(Robbins 5). We all want to find something that relieves us of the pressures that life gives us, but suicide shouldn’t be our answer.

What are the events that may drive a person (between 15-24) over the edge to suicide, relating to their home or social lives? Professionals say that the loss of a family or friend to death may cause an adverse reaction (Robbins 81). For example, I lost my mom to suicide, from a train accident and took it really hard. Some other reasons are: when students encounter rejection in romantic relationships, divorce of parents, an eating disorder, failure at critical academic tasks, or substance abuse” (Leighton xiv). I have personally felt the desire to die because the boy I liked didn’t love me back, I thought I could never love again.

Why is this increasing? The future isn’t as secure as we think it is, but it hasn’t ever been. It’s just with all our modern conveniences; it seems we should have the easy life. Another thing that is interesting to point out that one of my relatives mentioned is that, “Those who are in mental institutions don’t like themselves.” We have become a group of people who are always trying to achieve and there is much competition everywhere–for jobs, to be the most beautiful, to be successful, to have material wealth. It can be overwhelming, but we can’t ever be replaced. There will never be another person exactly like you on the planet. If you choose suicide as a way out, you’ll leave behind what could have been and all the good things you could do for the world. I personally relate to this because I have been in the hospital five times for suicidal thoughts. I never acted on them to the point that death would be a sure thing and couldn’t come back, probably because I was more afraid of death than life. I do think about suicide a lot still because I feel trapped. I don’t want to be here but I don’t want to die. It’s the kind of thing that most people can’t make up their minds about.

If I didn’t have family or friends or people who loved me, I would have a long time ago given up and died. Everyone has at one point in their lives felt suicidal. Look at the celebrities all around you. You’ll be sure to find people like you looking for someone to talk to or be a friend to. Even the most happy and put together people who seem to have no reason to be sad and who have secret problems or things they don’t show on the outside commit suicide.

Is it best to take the initiative and get that person help? Should a person be taken seriously if they seem to be contemplating suicide? Yes, because so many young people are a danger to themselves, threats of suicide should always be taken seriously. Suicide is one situation where it’s better to guess wrong about someone’s intentions than to stay quiet about it (Merritt). “Even though girls are about twice as likely to attempt suicide, boys are four times more likely to complete the act” (Merritt). I am thankful that my family got me the help I needed and forced me to go to the hospital, otherwise I might not be here.

There is a stigma against people with mental problems. “Shame and discredit still mark those persons who are so indiscreet to acknowledge their emotional needs and ask for help,” (Leighton 81). I partly agree. I think people fear what their friends and family will think, or that they will just send them straight to a mental institution for life. This being said, I think people with these suicidal thoughts don’t know how to ask for help. If you think famous people don’t get these thoughts think again. Isaac Newton was strikingly peculiar and out of sync and was considered mad by his equals. Yet he is considered one of the greatest of scientists. Emily Dickinson was extremely alone and hardly social with anyone but has given so much to literature (Leighton 7).

What advice would you give readers about their options? Who would you talk to if you needed help? Abby said, “When I was in high school I went to my siblings for help. In college, I went to two of my friends and my sister Danielle.” Jamie said, “I think talking can always help. Some people need a lot of help others find being alone helps them the most.” I think if you need alone time to figure things out allow yourself to do that. Abdul said, “I got help from mostly from close friends but also felt that nothing worked.” This is saying that not everyone handles these thoughts the same. Sometimes intervention is not enough and something else is needed. What do professionals say about where to get help? There are the suicidal hotlines first and foremost. Then there are peer support groups, counselors, and pastors or other religious figures
(Robbins).

What do average people say is the ultimate reason why people ages 15-24 wish to die and what can be done about it? Jamie said, “Stress and thinking that maybe if they are not in school right away or do not have a nice job yet, maybe they have low self esteem which could lead to deeper issues. Things seem more balanced and in place when you are older.” Abdul said, “It’s hard for them to accept the reality of this world. It can be a broken heart, family crisis, etc. Kristin said, “They’re all dealing with a lot of changes and stresses and not sure if life will get better–they feel hopeless.” Abby said, (for those of you are spiritually minded) “People don’t truly understand the love of God. (or your higher power) His love holds all that anyone could ever need. It’s in truly understanding His love that you’re transformed and set free. That life becomes worth living again. Also, I think another big reason for every problem is condemnation. We think we’re supposed to be this certain way and we have to force ourselves to be that way. As I get closer and closer to God (or your higher power), and understand His love more and more, I realize he’s changing me. I can just sit back and trust Him.” This means to me that people wish to die because of things they feel are beyond their control or major stressors. I think that knowing a “higher power’s” love for you and loving yourself are the two ingredients to being happy.

How can a student get a good start to their independence? First of all, I think teens and college students should take it one step at a time. Try to gradually get more and more responsibilities and don’t rush into it, because you have your whole life to be your “adult self.” Why do we feel that death is our only option and what options do we really have? I have an idea, called “help others therapy.” At least once a week try to do one random act of kindness for somebody else and do it in secret. It can be something as simple as a smile. I think instead of focusing on your problems that will get you deeper in a hole, try digging yourself out by listening to the others around you who are also trapped. You may feel a surge of life going back into you and a renewed sense of purpose and not only help yourself but get others out too. What kind of things can we do to lower our stress level; that will lift one of the biggest burdens off of ourselves? I think if you’re feeling overwhelmed by school, work, or home problems take some of those things out of your schedule. You can take it easy for awhile. Lots of students are trying to do too much. There is no rush to complete college. You don’t have to have your own office, the coolest looking car, a high paying job, and a family all at once. We need to slow down. When I was in the hospital my dad said maybe I could take a semester off from school. My aunt said I could go to California to visit them. Take care of yourself first and relax. My point is if you hold on just a little bit longer you’ll see why your still here. Think of all that you would miss. There will never be another you. If you look at how many problems and issues go away with time and that things can get better, you’ll realize how much you want to live. Most people can relate to experiencing suicidal thoughts that have caused this act or have even lost someone to this tragedy and felt the effects of this act. Once we learn about the different things related to this statistic, we can help our friends and family and make sure this doesn’t happen to them too. What do you want to be remembered for? Don’t be another statistic!

Britney
March,2010

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