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wasn’t sure whether or not to post on this message board. I was invited to this board by a friend, and had to give it some serious consideration. I have since decided that it might be helpful to get these feelings out.
I had a unique experience on Wednesday, February 5, 2002. That was only 5 days ago. My birthday was Friday, February 8, 2002.
As I slept in my bed on Wednesday evening near midnight, I had a strange dream of my stepfather holding me in his arms as I was being rushed to the hospital in the back seat of a taxicab. My heart was beating so fast (in my dream) that I thought it would explode.
The dream was so intense, that I woke up…When I woke up, my heart was actually beating fast. I lay there waiting for it to slow down, thinking it was an anxiety attack, but it seemed to beat faster. I could not call out for my children. I could barely breathe. My breaths were short bursts, like when a woman is in labor. I dialed 911 and told them I thought I was having a heart attack. They said to stay calm, they were sending someone right over. I dialed my daughter’s phone across the hall and told her to come in my room right away. She did. She was terrified, and I didn’t have any words of wisdom for her. Here I was — dying — and I could not think of anything clever to say to my oldest child.
Somehow that still bothers me more than the incident itself. I stopped trying to think at all. Suddenly, my ex-husband was here (my daughter had called her dad) and the paramedics were upstairs in my bedroom. They were poking and prodding and telling me to remain calm. My heart was racing at 200 beats per minute. Really. My daughter said that she was watching the heart monitor the whole time they were working on me, and the lowest it got was 198. So, they attached all of these electrodes to me — everywhere. Then they found my one good vein and gave me an IV, then proceeded to carry me (a heavy 200 pound woman) downstairs on a gurney.
That, in itself, was enough to bring on a heart attack. They started going down the stairs, then one said “I should go first”, and turned around, then one said “No, I think I should go first”, so it took a while simply deciding who would bear my weight down my steep stairs! I kept my eyes closed all the way down! Then I remember feeling cold and asking for a blanket. They said, “We are only going to be outside for a second, we’re taking you straight into the ambulance, hang in there”. My daughter heard this, and ran upstairs to get her comforter off of her bed and brought it to them.
Next thing I knew I was in the ambulance, still breathing in short spurts with my heart racing at 200 or thereabouts. I just knew I was dying, and I was thinking of all the things that I thought I should be thinking about. What do people think about before they die??? I thought about my children, who would care for them. My son would be 8 tomorrow (born one day before my birthday) and I would be gone. Who would take care of my babies??? And my home?
Nobody could afford to pay my house note. Is my insurance current? Will it cover the cost of my home and my burial? Wait! I think I have homeowner’s insurance. And credit card insurance. And bank account insurance. But, is it accidental only? Where did I put all of this information? Will anyone be able to find the papers? Where is my ex-husband? Is he following the ambulance? Oh, my goodness…my grandmother. She’s 90 years old, and I’m her heart. This will kill her. She will die of a broken heart. And, my baby brother. He’s more like my son, and he’s so far away in Maryland, he will be devastated. He has no money to travel to Texas. Somebody please call him, and my mom. I’m so scared.
And, my thoughts were racing like this for what seemed like forever in the back of that ambulance. Then one of the paramedics said, “We will have to give you medicine. You will feel really strange, but it will be okay. You’re doing good. Just try to relax.” When they injected the medicine in my arm, I felt myself float away…they actually stopped my heart. But, it didn’t help. My heartbeat was still racing. They said, “We will have to double the injection. Okay, we’re going to give you the medicine again. You will feel strange again. You did good the first time. It’ll be okay. We need to slow down your heart.” And, I felt myself float a little higher.
It was like I turned into air for a few seconds. Then I literally FELT my heart start beating again. I don’t remember seeing a light, but I do remember feeling totally weightless, and out of body. It was a very unusual experience, to say the least. At the hospital, I began to feel better as my heartbeat slowed down.
I remember thinking how close I came to leaving this world. My entire perspective changed. I decided to take a new outlook on life. Nothing and no one bothers me anymore. I was all alone in my pain in that body on Wednesday, and by the grace of God, I was given a second chance. I was told that if they didn’t slow my heart down, I was headed straight to heart failure.
Needless to say, it was a very frightening experience. I have determined to make some serious lifestyle changes, to include losing at least 50 pounds, and to reduce my level of stress. That’s my story. I hope that someone will be blessed by it, and learn the very important lesson that “people don’t last forever”. Live each day as if it were your last, because one day, it will be.
J.J.
© 2009, Lekatt. All rights reserved.
The brain has been studied by researchers for over 100 years looking for consciousness. I know I am conscious, aware of myself, and my surroundings. I believe my consciousness would need to have, and use memory, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and maybe other things yet unknown. But, brain research has revealed no such physical memory, thoughts, beliefs, or emotions. How can this be when some researchers believe the brain is responsible for creating consciousness, and without the brain, consciousness would not be possible. What if they are mistaken, it just might be the reason for them not finding consciousness in the brain.
I believe I am not only conscious, but consciousness itself. “I” (me, myself) being something greater than the brain and body. Now there must be evidence for this, and I will provide it later in this writing. In order to study this “I” that we call ourselves, we need to determine exactly what this “I” is as close as possible. One way to do this is by the process of elimination. Those things that can be eliminated without eliminating “I” will allow us to focus closer on the “I.” “I” being mine or your consciousness.
Earlier we said consciousness would need to have, and use memory, thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. Now would “I” be lost if any of these parts of consciousness were lost or changed. I don’t think so because many have lost their memory, even severely, as in amnesia, but retain their “I.” They still know they are themselves. The same with other parts of consciousness. Thoughts, beliefs, and emotions can change, and even be forgotten without loss of the “I.” These are the parts and tools of consciousness: memory, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and maybe other parts yet unknown. We (being consciouness) use these tools to gain knowledge and understanding of the world around us enabling us to live, and survive. However, these tools are not us. We (“I”) are still greater than the tools of consciousness we have learned to use.
To bring this into better focus, think of being in a room full of people. No one in that room will have any difficultly in ascertaining themselves from the others. They may have forgotten their own name, what they are doing there, where they came from and most anything else, but they will still know “I” am, and can easily distinguish themselves from the others. They may even be mentally ill, and believe they are God, but they will still be able to conclusively distinguish themselves from the others. I have never heard, or read of a single case where someone lost his/her “I,” and confused themselves with people standing nearby. Everyone knows “I am” and “you are” even if they don’t know anything else about themselves or about others. This is a critical understanding for learning about yourself.
Now consciousness is unique for each person, like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike, even identical multiple births don’t have the same consciousness. They may look alike, but they don’t act, and think alike. So if consciousness is a product of the brain, why don’t identical babies have identical consciousness’. Another thing about consciousness is, no one can see it, it remains invisible to the human eye. We can’t measure it either, how big, how much does it weight, what color is it, are all unanswered questions.
From what I can understand brain research is all about brain activity. The brain activity is studied with many different machines in many different ways. But what is brain activity? Is it consciousness, or only the footprint of consciousness, the end result of having an active consciousness, and not consciousness itself. No one can tell from just looking at brain activity what is happening. Is the activity a thought, an emotion, or just a dream? No one knows what is taking place merely by looking at brain activity. Now the brain may be artificially stimulated in a certain area, or areas, and the person the brain belongs to may see a light, or a scene, or something else. It is therefor thought that this part of the brain controls whatever the patient saw. But is this true. This has been called Brain Mapping, and it is far from being accurate.
Consciousness is not produced by the brain, but is a separate invisible entity that controls the brain and body. An entity that separates at death to continue living without the brain and body. This entity has been called by many names: psyche, mind, consciousness, soul, and spirit are some of the names or labels put on the “director” of the brain and body. I have decided to call this entity “the director” because this word has less emotional baggage than some of the other words that could be used. The director being the “I” that still stands after the parts of consciousness (aka the director) that have been deemed changable were eliminated. We have discovered the “I” and it is us. The “I” that is the essential you, the essence of your being.
Now the brain did not produce/create the director. We know this through the phenomenon of Near Death Experiences, and the research being done on Near Death Experiences by many universities in the United States and abroad. If you are not sure what a near death experience is then you may want to read A NDE, what is it? Those reading only news, and other media accounts of the experience may be surprised to find out what the experience really contains.
One near death experience account stands out from the rest due to its thorough and rigorous documentation. That account was the surgery of Pam Reynolds. There is no need to explain as the video linked here will tell about the details of the surgery. You will see the surgeon that perfomed the surgery validate Pam’s experience as she tells it.
The next link will be a broad one, it links a lot of the research that has been done on near death experiences. There are about 100 sub-links available from the first link. You may not have the time to follow all the links, and read all the material, but this first link can be a source of material on near death experiences for those interested in further study. This link explains veridical NDEs, and examines skeptical arguments.
Now we will set up a small outline model of how the director, (conscious “I”) and the brain/body interact to allow us to enjoy a physical experience here on planet earth. During most near death experiences the experiencer relates how he exited his body through the top of the head. Later to reenter the body in the same manner. So we will begin at that point before the body is exited.
The director controls the body through the brain. The director receives signals from the brain. These signals originate in the five senses of the body as well as the network of nerves. The brain is like a central information clearing house. The director decides what area of the brain receives what signals. The director “programs” these areas for receiving and sending, so appropriate actions may be taken in response to the incoming signals. The director (conscious “I”) uses the tools of thought to do this programming. Emotions provide the thoughts with intensity, and duration as well as polarity. As long as the brain/body are healthy things go along swimmingly. But the task of the director is large, and complicated. There is much to go wrong. Imbalances, drugs, diseases, trauma, poisons, etc., can, and do affect the health and stability of the brain/body. When the brain/body is sick, drugged, or damaged the signals can become erratic and unstable, causing missed or scrambled incoming signals and inappropriate response signals. The director will try to fix or compensate for these problems. In the case of a stroke that paralyses a limb, the director will try to relocate the area of control so with exercise the brain/body can regain control of the limb. Without a director this would not be possible. At no time is the director (the invisible consciouness “I”) harmed or damaged in any way by the illnesses, and trauma of the brain/body. When the damage to the brain/body is great enough to ensure death the director will exit out of the top of the brain/body and look down upon the clinically dead body it once inhabited as happens in the typical near death experience.
The magic continues with The Magic “I”.
© 2009 – 2020, Lekatt. All rights reserved.
I had an OBE when I was about 8 yrs old. It wasn’t an intentional event, it just kind of happened.My dad was a pretty strict disciplinarian and it was physical as well as emotional. My sister and I shared a bed. One night I had done something that had made him angry and he sent me to bed crying and a little sore from my punishment. I was thinking how much I hated him for hitting me all the time and how I just wanted to die so I couldn’t get hit anymore.
All of a sudden, I was floating, above me. I floated to the ceiling and turned around facing myself. I looked at my sister and called to her. She didn’t respond. I floated down and touched her cheek so she could see this unbelieveable thing happening to me, but she didn’t budge. I then realized the form laying next to her was me, so I tried to wake me up. I couldn’t get ‘me’ to move.
The floating was great and all, but I got a little panicky because I didn’t know how to get back into my body. As I hovered above myself, I reached my hands down to find an opening to get back in. I remember thinking that if I couldn’t get back in my body, then maybe I was dead. That made me reach toward my upper body, I don’t know exactly what I was looking for, but I knew that I got out, so there had to be a way back in. As I touched my head, I literally felt like I was being sucked back into my body through my head. It was the back of my head at the base of my skull.
At the time, I was afraid to tell anyone because it sounded too incredible to be true. To this day, there have only been a few people that I shared this with. I should say, until today. — S.
© 2007, Lekatt. All rights reserved.
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