This blog is more than an account of Near Death Experiences. It ponders in detail the tough questions of life. Who are you, and why are you here in this physical world? What happens when you die, and is there a judgment? However, most anything could appear here. This is not a news blog, archived posts are just as relevant as new posts. Check the boxes at the top of the page for the Contents, Contact, Forum and other links.
Me
first; my family first; my city first; my state first; my country
first; does it end? My group first; my religion first; my nationality
first; my politics first; my decisions first; etc., etc., ad
nauseam.
If
any of these expressions sound selfish to you, it is only because
they are selfish. Jesus’ teachings are just the opposite of “me
first” language. When the people using this language reach Heaven
Jesus will explain it to them before sending them to the back of the
line. “The first shall be last, and the last shall be first.”
This book is a journey into life. It travels through the fears of hell fire and other life changing events into the cool water of peace and love. It was my journey and I want to share it with you. Maybe you won’t find the road as bumpy as I did if you know where the pot holes lie.
As a youth, in church, I was taught about a God that could be loving, jealous, or angry with me depending on how I believed or acted. Only it just wasn’t that clear what I needed to do to appease Him. If I did the wrong thing this God would send me to hell where I would be punished forever. I would burn eternally in the fires of hell. I was a sensitive child, and it bothered me. Although I believed I was doing all the right things, I could never be sure. So I developed anxiety about my life and started to have anxiety attacks. I lost confidence in myself and didn’t know what choices to make. I lost motivation, just didn’t care anymore. I was afraid of this less than loving God. I couldn’t take any more of the teachings, so as I grew older I quit church.
In High School I joined the chess club and attended the school football games. I dated a girl whom would later become my wife. The fears of hell began to subside as I got on with my life. I forgot all about religion and considered it something to avoid. When I joined the Navy and got caught in the middle of Hurricane Audrey I remembered how to pray, everyone on the ship was praying. We got through the storm with only injuries and a badly beaten ship. In college I began to learn about religion. It helped to lessen my fears of hell. I read Bible history, comparative religions and church doctrine. I was gaining knowledge that would help me understand life, and was enjoying it.
Later I worked in the typesetting business and finally became the owner of a typesetting plant. It was hard work and changed rapidly as computers came upon the scene. There was a lot to learn, and the hours became longer for me. My health was declining from the long hours, so I tried harder to get the business stabilized. But once more in my life I would face death. I had a heart attack. It was a mild one, but it made me think about the afterlife again.
Then later, in the wee hours of morning I had an experience that allowed me a glimpse of the afterlife. I went out of my body. I was surrounded by love and compassion that was as cool water on a fevered brow. I knew I had met the real God; the one I knew existed. I felt motivated again; I was fully alive and starting on a new adventure of helping others. But I needed to heal myself first. There’s a chapter on how this happened.
If you decide to read this book, I believe it will help calm any fear of God or the afterlife. God is love.
When I was in the Navy I went through a hurricane in the Gulf and wrote an article about it on this blog called “My Perfect Storm.” Since that writing I have been contacted by another person, Tom Ferstl, who was also there with me. Tom was the Helmsman during the hurricane and answered many questions I had about the event. The hurricane occured in late June of 1957. It was a big one named Hurricane Audry. We had previously visited Dry Tortugus and Cuba. I also learned sadly that the Captain of the Willett, LCdr Robert J. Fay was the very first Navy Seal killed in Vietnam.
I will list below the email we exchanged and below that are the pictures he sent. This event happened over 53 years ago, I remember the hurricane vividly, but needed some help on the dates.
TOM
I just stumbled across your site. If the storm you are referring to was in 1957 or 1958, I don’t remember, but I was the helmsman during a similar such hurricane, and we had visited Dry Tortugas!
ME
Yes, it could have been either one of those years, around July. Email me and we can compare notes.
TOM
Thanks for the response. I usually check out search for the Willett and see if there are anyone interested in or holding a reunion. No such luck, but I did come across your website and your story of the Perfect Storm which I thought was excellent.
In looking back at my memorabilia I determined that it was in 1957 because in 1958 there were only two radarman; RD2 Eugene Gilliam and RD3 Louis Thomassie. In 1957 I was on the deck force and a helmsman. In 1958 I was transferred to the Operations Department under RM1 Francis Miller as a RMSN(Striker).
The CO was LCdr Robert J. Fay who became the very first Navy Seal killed in Vietnam.
As I recall, we usually took our reserves down to Cuba, Canal Zone, Haiti, Barenquilla, etc and back to NO. We did stop in Dry Tortugas in 57 but that changed so in 58 we made a cruise to Quebec via Charleston, Brooklyn, Boston and to Quebec and the cruise was over 30 days at sea. The cruises to the Carribean was 2 weeks with a weekend in port.
If you like, I can email you an update photo of the Willett. That photo you have is a WWII photo. I am on my laptop and my photo’s are on my workstation.
Sorry but I forgot to even mention the storm. As I mentioned I was a helmsman and for some reason I had a talent for that DE and keeping her on the bearing. So, whenever we went into turbulant waters, I would be called to the bridge to relieve the helmsman. The CO liked the way I responded to OOD orders and maintained the bearing.
I was called to the bridge that time and when the swells became very great, I was actually lashed down to keep me at the wheel. I remember most of the reservists became violently sick and many of the crew. For some reason I was never sea sick in my 9.5 years in the Navy? I learned to eat saltine crackers to keep from being seasick.
The reason we got into that storm actually Hurricane Audry because during that time, we had no satellite or early warning and had to go by barometer readings and international morse code weather broadcasts which had to be analyzed. We actually was steaming towards the front rather away from it!
Do you recall which ports we visited on that cruise?
Did you stay in the Reserves? For me, I spent 9.5 years in the Navy after 2-tours in Vietnam and then transferred to the USAF where I retired from in 1977.
ME
Thanks so much for writing me. Yes, I would like to have the picture of the Willett. We went to Cuba on that trip with a stop at Dry Tortugas as my memory serves. I was actually a radarman on the ship as a reserve. I said in the writing I saw the storm on radar about 30 minutes before it hit us. I will never forget that night if I live to be a hundred. When I looked at the picture of Captain Fay I recognized him instantly. He became very sick also after the event was over.
Do you remember the motor whale boat being cut in two by a wave and the crew that went out to chop the remains of it off the ship? In 1957 I was 20 years old, and I am 73 now. Did you see a picture of me on my site under the personal info? If you have a picture of yourself I might remember you as I did the captain. I may have a picture of myself as I look then if I can find it.
I joined the Naval Reserve in 1954 for an eight year enlistment. When it was over in 1962 I went back to being a civilian. I enjoyed my cruises in the Navy, I loved the ocean, except for that hurricane.
If you remember more please write I truly enjoyed your letters.
TOM
Here are some photos. The photo of me and the wife was taken several years go. After we put the Willett out of commission in Orange Texas, I went home in Feb 1959. She and I got married and we now have 4 sons, 14 grandchildren and three great-grandchildren with another great-grandchild on the way. It has been a very interesting ride.
We are individual spiritual consciousnesses enjoying a physical life created for the purpose of self learning. Picture yourself standing on the edge of two dimensions. One spiritual and the other physical. If you look outward from your physical body (which is only a communication tool) you will focus into the physical dimension. If you look inward through the physical body you will focus into the spiritual dimension. Christians will remember reading when Jesus was asked where the Kingdom of God was, He replied: “The Kingdom of God is within you”.
Unfortunately, many are focused so intensely in the outward physical dimension that they can no longer feel or believe in the inward spiritual dimension. However, when the physical body dies, the individual consciousness returns to the spiritual dimension which is home.
If you direct your point of consciousness inward and hold it there. After a time, the physical world will begin to fade, dimmer and dimmer. Eventually you will see the light and feel the love that NDEers do. You may also meet deceased friends and experience other NDE-like events. You will have entered the fringe of the spiritual dimension. This process, I have described, is called meditation. Meditation is the safest, most reliable way to visit the spiritual dimension, and there are many, many varieties of it. If you read the literature on meditation you will find an abundance of NDE-like events mentioned. In fact, some Yogi masters warn their students to ignore the lights, and things they may see because they believe it is a distraction from the purity of the meditation.
However, meditation has one very large drawback. It may take many months, even years of daily practice to learn how to lower the physical senses (focus) to the degree necessary to experience the spiritual dimension. And, for one reason or another, some practitioners are never able to reach the spiritual. So, over the centuries, man has devised, and discovered shortcut methods.
These methods included anything that could diminish, or fade the physical senses. Sweatlodges, dancing in circles for hours, staring into crystal balls, watching pendulums swing, and of course a wide assortment of drugs. Peyote, loco weed, hash, opium, and now Ketamine. The drug Ketamine, along with numerous others, diminishes, lowers the physical senses (focus) of man and allows the spiritual dimension to be experienced. The real NDE is caused by the death of the body which temporarily cancels ALL physical focus, thereby producing the intense spiritual experience that it is. A severe warning about drugs is needed here. The use of drugs to enter the world of spirit can be very dangerous for those who are unprepared emotionally for the trip. The results can be disasterous to the personality of the individual.
In summary: the world of spirit is alive and well. The drug Ketamine, and any others that may be developed in the future, only allows the spiritual experience, and does not cause it. The Near Death Experience is very real, and is, exactly what it appears to be: man encountering his Creator at the time of his physical death. The NDE is a wake-up call. It is time to return to our roots of Love, and Compassion for ourselves and others.
