This blog is more than an account of Near Death Experiences. It ponders in detail the tough questions of life. Who are you, and why are you here in this physical world? What happens when you die, and is there a judgment? However, most anything could appear here. This is not a news blog, archived posts are just as relevant as new posts. Check the boxes at the top of the page for the Contents, Contact, Forum and other links.
The first thing I remember is quiet blackness, floating gently and contentedly, studying the blackness. I was very relaxed, content, and unconcerned. My next recollection is slowly floating into the light, face-first, smiling.
As I put my face into the light, the air suctioned out of my ears (as if the inside were vacuum sealed). Next, I recall four medium-sharp thud sounds (like someone slowly and gently tapping on a microphone. I think this was the sound of my movement into the light-sphere.)
It’s unclear now, but initially, I don’t think I was alone. What I mean is, sometimes when I think back, I get the distinct impression, there were two other people waiting with me.
I languished on the “floor” content and very unconcerned. It was sooo quiet in there. I sat on the floor, thinking, “This is the quietest quiet I’ve ever heard!” After a while, “I can’t stand this quiet!” I covered my ears. It was deafening! Also, I remember thinking, “Not even the bottom of the ocean is as quiet as this.”
The Light Came.
The next thing I remember is “talking” with a really “wise person.” Never did I think to call this person Jesus, only a very wise person. (I am religious.) I don’t know when he appeared or how.
All I remember is that he was there, and seemed to be sitting on a chair in front of me, to my left. He was Light. I got to ask him all of the questions I’ve ever wanted to know. Our conversation was telepathic. Many times before I would finish the question, the answer would come. The questions and the answers were rapid-fire! With every answer, I’d just jump up and down with joy, and say, “I should have known that! That was so simple!” I was sooo excited! I was passed ecstatic, happier than I’ve ever been. I felt so loved, so accepted, and kept saying to myself as I jumped up and down for joy, “He doesn’t think I’m silly.” (Somehow that really mattered to me.) He seemed to just accept me and love me. I felt him smiling and being happy with me, and not laughing at me.
Just to regress for a moment…when I first got in the light ball, the color was a harsh white/white. When the wise man “came”, the ball of light changed from stark white to a misty whitish/gold. It was tangible, as if it were alive, as if you could touch it, and feel it, like it had texture. It almost looked like sheer cotton candy floating around. It didn’t occur to me to check myself out — look myself over. I don’t know if I was light or not.
Of all the many questions and answers, I only remember one question and one answer. I asked, “What about those who die?” That’s when I heard a loud buzzing sound in my right ear. I strained desperately to hear the answer. The buzzing got louder and louder. I heard him say, [BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ] “Be thankful for the lessons brought and taught.” I woke up and immediately wrote the question and answer down.
After this experience, I felt a genuine LOVE for every single person I saw. To say it like that, just doesn’t express the magnitude of the love experience, words just aren’t adequate. The entire Light experience was amazing and joyful (minus the quiet 🙂 ). I wish I could get back to that Light.
D.
wasn’t sure whether or not to post on this message board. I was invited to this board by a friend, and had to give it some serious consideration. I have since decided that it might be helpful to get these feelings out.
I had a unique experience on Wednesday, February 5, 2002. That was only 5 days ago. My birthday was Friday, February 8, 2002.
As I slept in my bed on Wednesday evening near midnight, I had a strange dream of my stepfather holding me in his arms as I was being rushed to the hospital in the back seat of a taxicab. My heart was beating so fast (in my dream) that I thought it would explode.
The dream was so intense, that I woke up…When I woke up, my heart was actually beating fast. I lay there waiting for it to slow down, thinking it was an anxiety attack, but it seemed to beat faster. I could not call out for my children. I could barely breathe. My breaths were short bursts, like when a woman is in labor. I dialed 911 and told them I thought I was having a heart attack. They said to stay calm, they were sending someone right over. I dialed my daughter’s phone across the hall and told her to come in my room right away. She did. She was terrified, and I didn’t have any words of wisdom for her. Here I was — dying — and I could not think of anything clever to say to my oldest child.
Somehow that still bothers me more than the incident itself. I stopped trying to think at all. Suddenly, my ex-husband was here (my daughter had called her dad) and the paramedics were upstairs in my bedroom. They were poking and prodding and telling me to remain calm. My heart was racing at 200 beats per minute. Really. My daughter said that she was watching the heart monitor the whole time they were working on me, and the lowest it got was 198. So, they attached all of these electrodes to me — everywhere. Then they found my one good vein and gave me an IV, then proceeded to carry me (a heavy 200 pound woman) downstairs on a gurney.
That, in itself, was enough to bring on a heart attack. They started going down the stairs, then one said “I should go first”, and turned around, then one said “No, I think I should go first”, so it took a while simply deciding who would bear my weight down my steep stairs! I kept my eyes closed all the way down! Then I remember feeling cold and asking for a blanket. They said, “We are only going to be outside for a second, we’re taking you straight into the ambulance, hang in there”. My daughter heard this, and ran upstairs to get her comforter off of her bed and brought it to them.
Next thing I knew I was in the ambulance, still breathing in short spurts with my heart racing at 200 or thereabouts. I just knew I was dying, and I was thinking of all the things that I thought I should be thinking about. What do people think about before they die??? I thought about my children, who would care for them. My son would be 8 tomorrow (born one day before my birthday) and I would be gone. Who would take care of my babies??? And my home?
Nobody could afford to pay my house note. Is my insurance current? Will it cover the cost of my home and my burial? Wait! I think I have homeowner’s insurance. And credit card insurance. And bank account insurance. But, is it accidental only? Where did I put all of this information? Will anyone be able to find the papers? Where is my ex-husband? Is he following the ambulance? Oh, my goodness…my grandmother. She’s 90 years old, and I’m her heart. This will kill her. She will die of a broken heart. And, my baby brother. He’s more like my son, and he’s so far away in Maryland, he will be devastated. He has no money to travel to Texas. Somebody please call him, and my mom. I’m so scared.
And, my thoughts were racing like this for what seemed like forever in the back of that ambulance. Then one of the paramedics said, “We will have to give you medicine. You will feel really strange, but it will be okay. You’re doing good. Just try to relax.” When they injected the medicine in my arm, I felt myself float away…they actually stopped my heart. But, it didn’t help. My heartbeat was still racing. They said, “We will have to double the injection. Okay, we’re going to give you the medicine again. You will feel strange again. You did good the first time. It’ll be okay. We need to slow down your heart.” And, I felt myself float a little higher.
It was like I turned into air for a few seconds. Then I literally FELT my heart start beating again. I don’t remember seeing a light, but I do remember feeling totally weightless, and out of body. It was a very unusual experience, to say the least. At the hospital, I began to feel better as my heartbeat slowed down.
I remember thinking how close I came to leaving this world. My entire perspective changed. I decided to take a new outlook on life. Nothing and no one bothers me anymore. I was all alone in my pain in that body on Wednesday, and by the grace of God, I was given a second chance. I was told that if they didn’t slow my heart down, I was headed straight to heart failure.
Needless to say, it was a very frightening experience. I have determined to make some serious lifestyle changes, to include losing at least 50 pounds, and to reduce my level of stress. That’s my story. I hope that someone will be blessed by it, and learn the very important lesson that “people don’t last forever”. Live each day as if it were your last, because one day, it will be.
I know that thing about feeling different so well. I have been married for 29 years and my wife is only just now acknowledging my NDEs. For the most part she has taken the position of “How do you know it was not Satan” and “So you belong to a special club”. She recently told me that she understands what a huge impact my NDEs have had on me. I told her that there is no way she can “understand” something like an NDE…I can barely comprehend them myself.Yes, I have had two NDEs. My first was a schoolyard accident when I was 10 years old and the second was a drug overdose when I was 16 years old. The second one was by far the most profound. In my second, God took me on a “tour” of the universe — the whole time explaining how everything works together and showing me how powerful we really are as human beings. It turns out that we create and shape every little thing about our lives. I even understood how the “bad stuff” takes shape and the profound meaning behind our every action.
Then God told me “Now I want to show you who you really are” and allowed me to become one with Him. He took me and folded his being around me and I became One with God…yet I was still Ray, with the same sense of humor and the same hang ups I have always had. God let His Love permeate my being and I was finally Home. I cannot describe this at all…it was so huge and meaningful. What we call Love is so small next to what God calls Love.
Another thing….He told me that I must go back, that it was not my time yet. But He told me that I could return anytime I wanted.
Now, what in the world does that mean?
So when the Bible tells us that we are made in God’s image I understand…we are like “Little Gods” and far, far more powerful than we know.
You were created you, and will never be anything or anyone but you. You were created whole, perfect, and with everything you will ever need given to you.
The physical life wrapped you into a body, and your parents, teachers, friends, loved ones, and peers taught you who you believe you are at this moment. Your beliefs, your thoughts, your emotions, are a result of not who you are, but what you have come to believe you are. It is not bad, nor good that you have become a physical person, believing in physical concepts and teachings, it is for the purpose of learning about yourself. In your physical interactions with others you are really interacting with yourself, for you are a part of everyone and everything, and everyone and everything is a part of you. We live in a Oneness of consciousness. How you treat others is exactly how you treat yourself. Physical life is a journey of self-discovery. By discovering the warmth, goodness, and love in others you discovery it within yourself. You will learn to honor, and respect all life for it is a part of you, an eternal part, as you are eternal. The path to enlightenment is the path to self-discovery, self-love, self-confidence, and the realization of the greater good is your good. The greater picture is your picture.
