A Near Death Experience, No. 166.

NDE Stopped the Abuse.

Dear friends,
I had my NDE at age 8 or 9 during a near drowning accident at my local swimming pool. I had somehow got into difficulty, and found myself under the water, I grabbed a girl next to me by her bikini bottom, she kicked me away to the bottom of the pool, I was swallowing water fast. Then my life was flashing before my eyes, happy times mainly, birthdays, christmastime with my family. Then I found myself in what appeared to be a large tunnel with a small white light at the other end, I was moving towards this light, fairly quickly.

Only my thoughts remained, I knew I was dead with a dreaded certainty, I thought there must have been some kind of mistake, as I was still thinking. I could feel an overwhelming sense of peace, surrounding me, enveloping me with the feeling, it was the most incredible feeling I have ever known.

As I was moving toward the light I could sense two other presences near to me, they were communicating to me through thought alone, telling me it was not my time I would have to go back. I knew these presences knew me, but I did not know them, I had never met them before, we communicated just by thought, them to me, me to them.

Just as quickly as I had come, I was moving back down the tunnel and into my physical body, coughing and spluttering out water as the lifeguard had given me the kiss of life. I lost consciousness after and did not wake up again until weeks later inside an oxygen tent.

Before having my NDE, I had been abused since the age of one and a half years, my abuse had lasted right up until my NDE and was set to continue afterwards. Up until my NDE, my silence had been assured by the threats and violence displayed by my abusers, violent aggressive men, who did not think twice about displaying violent behaviour.

They had manipulated me into believing the abuse was my own fault, and they made me understand that there was nothing I could do about it, by saying I would be sent away to a bad girls home, by my parents for what I had done, etc.

After my NDE I was so happy to be here, so thankful to have been given the chance to live my life, I really thought I was dead and would not be returning to the life I had known during my NDE. I could not stand the thought of anyone hurting me again, so I confronted my abusers, and told them if they abused me again I would tell on them and I didn't care if I got sent to a bad girls home, figuring if I could cope with death and come out alright, I could cope with whatever happened to me because of it.

They agreed to stop abusing me, a surprise for me at the time, I could not believe how easy it had been, to get them to stop. They realised I was serious, and obviously, they could not risk getting caught so they agreed not to abuse me anymore and they kept to their word and left me alone. I still did not tell on them, for fear of retaliation and the dreaded bad girls home, but my abuse was over, and I could lead a more normal life afterwards.

I have blocked out all the abuse and have been told this is called dissociative amnesia, as I dissociated during the abuse to save my sanity, though I was not aware of this, since I was so small when it all started.

A doctor very kindly sent me a proof of another person who had also had an NDE and was abused as a child, though her NDE occurred when she was an adult, which helped her understand a bit better about the abuse. I have never met any other person who has had an NDE, and only recently found IANDS and any other places to do with NDE.

To die you'd think would be viewed as a traumatic experience especially for a child, but my NDE was one of the best experiences of my life and the after effects have proved invaluable in my life. I know I will finally find people who can understand what it is like through their own knowledge. I did not speak much about my NDE when I was a child, much the same way I did not talk of my abuse, so I have not had much communication with anyone concerning it. Thanks for listening to my story.


(Some further comments by the author of the NDE.)

That alone (the NDE) changed the course of my whole life, I was no longer a victim, I was now a survivor, and I've survived this far, with only my experience to help me cope with it all. I am so thankful I was allowed to return and live my life, I have 3 beautiful children, who I love dearly and happily, who have been brought up abuse free, so I'm already making a difference in their lives, by breaking the cycle of abuse.

I am grateful and never take anything for granted, I help others less fortunate than myself to get a better life, and speak up for those that cannot find the voice or the self assurance to speak for themselves. I am an online volunteer for netaid and help in their important humanitarian issues, we can only hope and help as best we can.

My experience was one of the best experiences of my life, and will always remain a source of comfort when I find that life gets a bit tough. It really was the most wonderful experience of my terrible childhood, there for the first time in my life, I felt certain and sure, something I could never be, I felt loved and cherished, something I could never feel, and I felt valued and worthwhile, a thing I could never feel. The wonderful feeling of peace and love that surrounded me, enveloped me, is something I could never describe in mere words. Thank you for getting in touch and I hope my story helps anyone who needs it. Take Care



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