Understanding Love's Source.Hi all.
I remember when I was dying how I was never more aware of my body and the biology involved. My senses where so acutely aware of the bodily needs. The closer to death I became the more aware of my body on the inside as I seem to go deep within it's walls. I was never more aware of the extent of my body and it's functions to live. I never was more aware of how much my body needed to live and how my spirit sought to continue in my body.
Next I remember clearly how my spirit and my body were separate yet together. But, my view of my body was from my chest out. I could see my chest rise with the will to breath. I would say to my body breath and it would. Next I willed it to breath and it did. Next my chest exhaled and I willed it to breath but, it just sat there. I tried to breath but, my spirit could no longer dominate the rising of my body by the filling of my lungs with air.
I could see my body from my chest to my feet and motionless as I tried to make it breath. The body was exhausted and could not work any more. To the end it gave me it's best effort faithfully. I asked myself or God if he was listening because I was not sure, if I was dead?
The next thing I found myself in a dark closet as it seem to me. I seemed boxed in because I could not move around or get out and I could not find the walls to it. I did not like that part and I felt like I was in prison.
Next to loosing my body to death, being in this dark closet was even more depressing. But, the voice by my right side which was the same voice that told me while I was alive that I had to come home to Him. God was the voice and He said just go. With that I did as easy as I thought to myself now why could not I have figured that out myself? My ego was a bit bruised but hey once I went, I flew. I remained who I was in death as I was in life except that I knew more and could jump higher and faster.
The new body was far more superior and the brain all knowing. Once I accepted that I was dead and got comfortable with the new me, then the ego disappeared. I realized that the ego was my earth identity and in Heaven there is no earth body. In Heaven it is all knowing and understanding and then some.
Once I came back to earth which, btw, the doctor or scientist was freaked out by it all. On earth I had lost the ego identity that goes with the experience of living in the biology of a body. I also found some very interesting abilities and the first time I used them I did not even know I was doing it.
At first when I was in the flight of the spirit I tried to manipulate my spirit body like my physical body on earth. I willed my spirit body to blink, smell, and move my lips. But, I had no eyes to blink with, and I was so sad and sorry for myself. I longed to be in the earthly body again and do the simple things we take for granted like blinking. Taking these simple things for granted I thought was our right and gift from God.
The voice was ever present through it all and I told Him how am I going to see or talk. He told me you are talking but you don't have lips. In fact He told me this is easier and faster. I got use to that part fast but, I said I can't see. The voice told me see with your spirit. I had a time doing that because I so wanted to blink and see with earth eyes. The voice said to see you must go with me and be with me. The more you come to me willingly the more you will see.
I became to understand the love I had was from love's source. I began to see how it all made sense. But, when I came back to earth and learned that what I knew, and what I came back to were not exactly the same.
It took years to try and deny it all totally. The dreams and nightmares, then eventually I came out of the denial of it all. I tried for the next years to connect what I came back to and what I knew from Heaven. That in itself did not work as the two places have different laws. Life I perceived as truly a miracle set in motion by laws. Time was but a consequence of erosion. Cells are made while old cells die. The law of life and death are universal. The spirit does not die but is released to it's true being.
Since I have come back, at first especially I missed the spirit body ways. I left the body often while asleep and eventually did it while awake. The laws put on the spirit are the same laws of the physical body. Funny. Science cannot measure it.
Oh well, I think I should not go on. TYF giving me the avenue to write.