David, my NDE.
Dear Leroy
Life can be very, very hard for some of us. The pain of life can become unbearable and at such times it seems that the only way out is to kill oneself. I know this feeling because I have killed myself. My suicide was not a cry for help. I made sure that nobody was going to find me before I died. Mine was a genuine and sincere attempt to kill myself. I was finished, I could continue no more and I followed the only course of action that I thought was right. I took a massive overdose.
Before you die there is the possibility that things could improve, one way or another. Once you've killed yourself though, you can't turn back. Not unless a miracle happens. Such a miracle did happen to me when I made my suicide attempt. Because while I did certainly succeed in dying and leaving this world, I was assured by people in the next world that I'd made a big mistake and was sent back into my body, which only by a miracle of God, revived itself without any medical assistance.
My suicide was back in 1976. I was very lonely and depressed and quite simply did not want to continue living nor did I see any purpose in my living. My life seemed a futile and empty existance. I felt it was time to say goodbye to this world. Late in the evening I took a massive overdose, put the Pink Floyd, "Wish You Were Here" album on and settled down to die quietly.
Three days later I found myself lying on the living room floor. I couldn't stand up and was so weak I could only crawl. But I was alive. I remembered having left my body and spending quite some time, (I don't know how long but it seemed like a long time) in a place somewhere, sitting and listening to some people talking to me. I felt relaxed in this place and with these people, They were very nice and understanding people and they were telling me that this was not the way it had to be, that I did not have to kill myself and that I could go back and live again. They totally reassured me that I was supposed to be alive and there was a purpose for it. There was no judgement there from these people, only love and compassion. These people seemed to know me and I got the distinct impression that they were aware of my life and all of the problems I had been going through. They knew with utter certainty that my life was worth living and that I should go back into my body again. They spoke about my life with confidence. I was something special to these people and in their eyes, I was worthy of having my life back. They treated me with the utmost respect and kindness.
So when I found myself back in my body, alive and lying on my living room floor, I was very grateful and happy to be back here again. I had been given a second chance. Later that day I was taken to the hospital and when I told a doctor how many tablets I'd taken he exclaimed, "You should be dead!"
After this suicide NDE I realised that I was not alone. Those people in the spiritual dimension were aware of my life and my every struggle through it. Imagine that while you are in pain and turmoil, that there are people who are watching you and begging you to carry on, not to give up. These people cannot contact you directly because you have to overcome these terrible problems without their help. For they are the people in the spirit world who are invisible to us. And yet these people are hoping and praying that you find the strength to carry on. They don't want you to give up because they know that if you just carry on a while longer, you will overcome some of these terrible problems and find some respite. They know that you will gain more by simply hanging in there, rather than giving up and taking your own life.
It may seem impossible at times, it may seem pointless to carry on but believe me, I've been there and tried suicide. Thankfully I was shown by those people in the spirit world, that suicide is not the answer and does not solve anything. I was lucky because I was sent back to continue my life. The problems I had been suffering from prior to my suicide did not all disappear overnight. However, the realisation that my life was worth living, enabled me to tackle my problems and not just give up.
I am not a saint or a do-gooder but since I have done the final deed, survived and seen the folly of it, I may be able to relate to how you are feeling. Hang in there...
David
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