A New Hope.
Following my accident when I was severely burnt, my last memory was being injected morphine at Staincliffe Hospital, Dewsbury, the place I was born and nearly died; following this I was rushed to Pinderfields Hospital at Wakefield where I was to spend the most painful 13 weeks of my life.
My next memory was awakening and finding me stood in a darkened room and in the far corner was a bed, to which all sorts of electronic equipment were attached beeping away and in the bed seemed to be a person but I just wanted to get away from the place.
Strangely all the pain I had previously suffered was gone like one big nightmare, I remember in my disorientated state somehow leaving the room, into a long deserted corridor, illuminated sparsely with a few night lights.
As I approached the end of the corridor a nurse came out of a nearby staff room, laughing merrily at some joke her and the rest of the staff must have been sharing, as she turned and walked towards me I just froze, however, her eyes showed no acknowledgement of my physical presence as she passed by me.
I called out to her when she was about 15 feet past me but she showed no signs of either seeing me or hearing me, I thought this was a little weird by now, but my instincts told me to find an outside door and get away from this strange place.
After a while travelling through the maze of corridors I found a locked exit, upon trying the door to my amazement I found my hand just passed right through it and to my utter bewilderment I found I could walk right through it, I could feel no warmth or cold, I seemed to myself what I can only describe as a physical point in space that could see and hear but could not interact.
With further astonishment I now found myself perhaps 150 foot up in the air and heading through the night, below I could see the tops of the street lamps and a few cars wondering around, I distinctly remember flying over a railway viaduct and towards the city of Wakefield.
The neon sign over the nightclub called Rooftop Gardens drew me like a magnet being familiar with the place during my many nights out with my friends, The Gangster and The Savage One, I must of thought in retrospect that a familiar place would relieve me of all this craziness but I was flying for Gods sake.
I came down to land near the entrance to the club in front of two of the bouncers I remembered from yesteryear. I had on many occasions in the past greeted these two individuals, however on this occasion they just continued their small talk oblivious to my sudden appearance from the night sky.
I paused to think and reached out with my hand to touch a nearby wall that was adjacent to the clubs entrance but my hand appeared to have no physical substance and just passed into the fabric of the wall.
It was now that the awful truth finally dawned on me. The people were unable to see or hear me, The wall, The doors to the hospital, just suppose they were perfectly normal? Just suppose that it was me who had changed? What if for example I had somehow lost my "hardness", my ability to grasp things, even, to make contact with the world -- even to be seen?
I mean what is the point in going anywhere if, as the final shreds of my rational mind pointed out, if you cannot be seen, and what was that mound in that bed in the little hospital room I had left could that have been my physical body?
I didn't like this line of thought, a human being is not separated from his body unless he is dead, then what state was I in now? It can go through doors without opening them, it can fly like a bird, it does not feel cold or warmth, and remarkable these qualities are, they are no good if one cannot be seen. I decided at this point to go back to Pinderfields and see if I could reacquaint myself with my body, surely pain is better than this.
No sooner had this thought occurred to me I found myself moving at incredible speed through the night back to the doors of Pinderfields, it seems in this strange state you travel by thought alone, handy this may be, but the novelty soon wears off rapidly.
Now Pinderfields is a big hospital and in my rush to get out of there I had forgotten just where I had left my body (or indeed what was left of it by now).
I just didn’t have a clue which room it was in. I rationalised that it must be somewhere in the burns unit, but it was no use asking the doctors or nurses because they couldn't see me or hear me.
After an extensive search I managed to find the burns unit, and by wandering from room to room I finally found the room I had left earlier, and there I was lying unconscious, wired up to an whole variety of strange gadgets.
At this point out of pure desperation for something to do, I decided to recite the lord’s prayer something I had learnt many years ago at school.
The very next moment the absolute impossible happened; a tiny pinprick of light at the side of the bed began to grow brighter and brighter, at first not noticing the pin prick of light I thought it was a tiny night light that was the rooms only illumination that was getting brighter.
But then I saw it was coming from beside the white bedside table at the head of the bed, it continued to brighten as I watched, it brightened to such an extent that had it been any ordinary light I would most certainly of been blinded.
The next moment there flooded directly into my mind the words "Stand Up...you are now in the presence of the Son of God", whereupon out of the light stepped what I could only describe as the most magnificent Being I have ever known.
Thankful at last for a little company in this strange situation I joked "That's it!...Just like that...I am with the Son of God...Isn't there a reception area or something before we meet?"
I felt a presence of Power and pure Love that was older than time but yet more modern than anyone I have ever met.
In the first stage of my experience, what I can only refer to as the earthbound state, I had lost three of my senses; smell, taste, and touch, however in this further stage in the light, time disappeared completely, a bit like in a dream, and I was aware of all my thoughts and actions in my life up to the present day as one big whole.
Every moment in my life was recurring before me at once, and the same instant as part of some enormous four dimensional sight and sound mural.
I guessed this was my life review.
But emanating from the Being projected pure love, up to that point in my life I had come across much laid-back always blaming anyone and everyone for the results of my actions.
I also saw from a further dimension an observation of my interactions with others from the other persons point. I also saw parts of the future which was hazy, however I distinctly remember being told that a girl I had met but would never marry had an important role in the creation of my son who was very special. I saw all of my educational achievements so far were purely superfluous, but it was the way I treated others that was important, and I could see the consequences of my lack of interactions with my fellow students at York University (which I had luckily just graduated a month before).
I could see how the other students saw me as weird and very anti-social, and they tried to avoid me where possible so that they could avoid the negative effect I had on them, hence leading to a deeper feeling of depression thus increasing my isolation.
An endless viscous circle that had dominated my life.
I even could see the hurt on my best friend -- The Gangsters emotions when he pulled a bird called Cherelle at Rooftop Gardens, but, I had done my best to split them up by pouring a pint of lager on her head and being very rude.
The tapestry of life was in front of me, and I could see how my decisions now, would effect the future. All of my ambitions of being wealthy and having many material possessions was regarded by the Being of light with as much distaste as was my lack of enthusiasm for interacting with my fellow men.
I could see how my life would change, and where I had once sought money and possessions, I now treasured simply making other peoples lives more pleasurable at the expense of my own well being.
The Being of light then turned to me and said via thought dynamics "Michael, What have you done with your life so far?" I replied using my mind: "Why didn't someone tell me this was what life is about?" The Being replied "Somebody did nearly 2000 years ago in your linear time -- Me!"
I suddenly found myself on the move again, this time we didn't bother about doors it was straight up through the hospital roof, then we flew at incredible speeds across the surface of the earth, however there was no wind to slow us, and just a few moments later I found myself approaching a city beside a huge expanse of water.
In the city all the streets and offices were unbelievably crowded, and I could see people passing through other people like they wasn't there.
We walked into a factory and I saw assembly line workers who were putting together lawnmowers enjoying a coffee break while behind them a woman was pleading for a drag of their cigarette as through she wanted it more than anything in the world.
When one of the workers clearly blind and deaf to the women behind him actually took a cigarette out of his packet and began to smoke it, the woman repeatedly snatched at it, but it was as if she was clawing at thin air.
I came to the conclusion that those people must be ghosts, even though they were dead, they remained chained to the material world by the very things they had deemed most important during their lifetimes, their jobs, their cigarette smoking, their material possessions.
Myself and the Being of light moved from city to city visiting endless places he had to show to me, in one house, I remember a younger man followed an older man from room to room saying "I am sorry dad!," he kept saying repeatedly "I did not know it would do this to my mum -- I just didn't understand!"
The older man was carrying a tray filled with tea and toast into a room where a clearly unwell elderly lady was sat up in bed. "I AM SORRY" the younger man cried in frustration over and over again, but clearly his agony fell on deaf ears.
"Why is he so sorry?" I enquired to the Being of light, referring to the younger man's pleas. "He committed the ultimate selfish act" said the Being touching his long beard, "suicide." He continued with tears welling in the corner of his eyes "and chained to every consequence of their act of cowardice they are well and truly earthbound" he finished, but I knew the answer before I asked.
My next visit was back to the night club in Wakefield called Rooftop Gardens where I had visited earlier in my disorientated state, but without the concept of time, earlier and later were meaningless, it is a bit like telling someone blind from birth what it is like to see.
Inside the nightclub was an impossibly crowded place where I watched ghost alcoholics mingling with living drunks, and whenever a drunk lapsed into a drunken stupor a desperately thirsty ghost sprang inside his body so that the two became one.
The living could be distinguished from the ghosts by a faint cocoon of light around them, however when any living being became inebriated their light cocoon faded, enabling one of the many hovering ghosts to take over their body and literally possess the person.
So horrific was the scene that the only words in my mind that could describe this was "hell."
The mingling ghosts with their eyes so set on alcohol desperately clutching at real life beer glasses had blinded themselves to the magnificent Being that accompanied me -- Indeed the Being told me to keep my eyes firmly on him -- probably he was aware of my past record.
In this world of thought far beyond space and time (Thought is a more fundamental principle than the illusion of space or time which pale into mere shadows) it can seemingly be either heaven or hell of your own making.
Earthbound ghosts destroyed by hatred, lust, and destructive thought patterns, find that whatever they think, however fleetingly or unwittingly became instantly apparent to all those who are around them, and more completely than words could have expressed it, and much faster than sound waves could of carried it.
The thoughts most commonly communicated amongst earthbound spirits was usually selfish thoughts and this by its very act kept the being earthbound, the Being of light it seemed felt only compassion for these unfortunate souls but he knew it was their will not his that kept them there.
I felt like Scrooge in "The Christmas Carol" having this wise Being accompany me back to the hospital for the final time, I wanted to start my life again afresh when I would care far more about other people and not just myself.
No longer would money and possessions be my supreme objective, but I would live my life with a desire to make other people happy -- the old "Mad Mick" was truly dead, and the new one ready for a reincarnation.
We entered the hospital room for the final time, and the image of the being and the bed before me faded -- the walls that surrounded my little room at Pinderfields became solid again, it was early morning, and I was informed by a nurse who had come in to open the curtains that it was two days since my accident.
The pain was still there, but somewhat dulled by the drugs I had been given. It was to be another thirteen weeks before I was released and I had many more strange experiences in there, but nothing that could be compared to the one I have shared with you all.
After subsequent research into my favourite subject -- Physics -- I have found that with the merging of two theories of the universe, Quantum Mechanics and General Relativity, it appears that the three dimensions of space and one dimension of time is in fact an illusion created by the world of thought.
Spirits who remain earthbound do eventually find that hatred and envy are the very emotions that keep them there, but wouldn't it be easier to help our fellow human beings while we are alive.
"Lay not up for yourselves treasures on earth" -- Jesus
A New Hope