I Went to Hell.
I was on your web site tonight and was reading on NDE suicides, and you was talking that most people don't see hell, or however you said it, other than preachers. Well I tried to commit suicide back in 1989. I was 17-years-old, a young mother with very bad post partum depression. I was extremely depressed, my experiance is as follows:I was committed a week prior to my attempt, in the state hosptial. Instead of addressing my depression, I was told that I was a borderline personality. When I asked the Dr. why, I was told "it will pass, all new moms go through this."
I was given an anti-depressant and sent home. I was told that should I feel like hurting myself I should go to the nearest ER. I was trying to get them to address this.
I had called my mother the night of my suicide attempt, and asked her if she would take care of the baby for me while I was busy. After she came and got him...I had my plan for ending my life. I filled the bath tub full of water, grabbed a razor blade and a bottle of pills. I took everyone of those pills and slit my wrist.
I must have passed out from the total amount of the pills. I remember it was almost instant I found my self walking down this really bright tunnel. Seemed like it took me forever to get anywhere. I was greeted by my deceased grandmother who held her hand out for me to take a hold of. She smiled, I remember telling her I loved her as we walked. We finally get to this really brighter light. I remember hearing a voice that said, "YOU MUST GO BACK, WE ARE NOT READY FOR YOU''.
When I turned to look at my grandmom, her face had changed quickly. Her eyes were dark black and her facial expressions changed. Then I felt like I was being dragged downward. I felt a sudden pain like I was being stabbed. I was in hell, it wasn't very pleasant. The odor that I smelt was sicking. I was grabbed by something. I was shown people who had gone before me begging me for help. A woman who was shown to me was crying, with the body of her husband in her lap as demons poked it.
I wasn't able to speak, but I felt everything. I felt like things were crawling on me. I felt hair being pulled. Then I felt a sudden big push. I was awaken by the ER Dr.as he stood with paddles trying to shock me back to life. This is something I will never forget and it has stayed with me. Hell isn't a pleasant place.
Ever since my near death experience, I have had a very strong sense of smell, and other things have happened. I'm not a religous person, nor was I at the time. I know what I went through was real. I never doubted that, so indeed hell was shown to me.
I haven't tried to commit suicide again either. J.
