My NDE.
It was a little over a year ago, May 25 2000.I was in a very bad car crash. I was alone in the car and I don't remember impact, but I split a phone pole in half, went through a billboard steel support post and landed upside down against a tree. The jaws of life had to get me out, and the state trooper said he thought they would be scraping me from the inside of my car. My injuries were all minor, but I had a serious concussion that knocked me out for at least 20 minutes. To anyone's knowledge, I was never clinically dead which makes me wonder if my own experience was real or not. It was VERY real to me, though, and that is the only thing that really matters.
What I remember is feeling the most excruciating pain/pleasure feeling imaginable. It was intense all-consuming agony building and releasing into the most intense ecstasy... euphoria, absolutely indescribable but I "knew" that I had felt Christ... I felt the crucification, the pain, the suffering and the release... followed by euphoria... I didn't see any light; I was in a "nothingness" or maybe a blackness or void, and I was alone, but I knew that I wasn't alone... and that none of us are alone. I knew that everyone and everything in the entire universe is connected into one; that we are each a part of everything... I knew that I was eternal (and I remember being so thankful to discover that eternity is true and has never been a lie or myth) and I knew that I had died and I remember thinking that it was the most beautiful thing that could have ever happened to me... the happiest day of my entire existence... there was nothing sad about it like I always thought there would be. I remember thinking how I couldn't wait to tell my husband that we really would be together for an absolute eternity.
The time following the NDE has been difficult for me; My NDE confirmed my beliefs in Christ and didn't contradict anything that I've been raised to believe in and have always believed in. But, a lot of NDE research does contradict it, and this is where I'm having a struggle with what happened. I still believe in heaven and hell and evil... a lot of others give up these beliefs immediately following a NDE.
It changed my life in that I know without a doubt that God and Christ and eternity all exist and have always existed. It made me certain of a second coming whether it be visual to all at one time or spiritual and individual...
I've come away with a lot of conflicting feelings and thoughts and I spent more time in my Bible following it than ever before, which wasn't all that much. But in spite of the sometimes overwhelming inner conflicts, it is still the most beautiful experience that I've ever had and I'm thankful for whatever reason it happened.
This is probably a coincidence, but I've been told by others that it resembles a stigmatic experience... the feeling of crucification; my injuries were similarly placed to Christ's injuries. Contusions across my hairline, both hands injured, cuts and contusions to the bottoms of both feet. My husband couldn't deny the eerie similarity to the crucification injuries, but still refuses to believe that this is what actually happened to me. I know what I felt though, and it was a total oneness with Christ and everything that He felt on the cross.
And I "knew" it, didn't just think it or speculate it... I knew without any doubt that what I was feeling was Christ.
C.
