Dying and Living.
I'm what I would like to call a NDE-survivor, since my NDE, which I had as a five-year-old changed the course of my whole life. This is the story of my experience.This event occurred in Russia, (where I was born), on a holiday trip to the Black Sea where I was with my mother and grandparents. On this particular day the sea was rough, and my mother was standing in the water, holding me in her arms, since I was only five and couldn't swim. I remember feeling happy and secure, even though the waves were huge, and feeling exitement as they came crashing over my mother and me, one by one.
Then a particularly big wave came rolling towards us, and as it hit us my mother lost her balance, lost her grip, and I was swept away by the wave. For a second I felt the agony of death, my body instinctively sensing this being a life-threatening situation. I struggled to find something to hold on to, but since there was only water all around, I finally surrendered to what ever was about to happen to me, and let go.
Next thing I remember is feeling totally and utterly at peace, and feeling enveloped and protected by a kind of presence which I can only describe as complete and unconditional Love. I had no fear, I had no worries, and felt like I could've gone on being wherever I was and feeling the way I was forever. I was also strangely aware that the thing we ordinarily call time now was suspended, and did no longer exist.
Next I felt being drawn away by some unknown force, and I started moving at an enormous speed, which felt like a lot faster than the speed of light, and travelling an enormous distance, literally travelling "beyond the world." I was moving toward a brilliant light, and as I came closer to it my only desire was to get there. When I reached the light there was a male figure standing in the midst of it, the light radiating from him, and I was embraced by this being of light, who loved me completely and unconditionally, with a Love that no words can describe. I found myself in a "world of light," where everything was made of, and radiated light. And I remember feeling that this place I found myself in, and not the earth I'd left behind was my real home.
I also remember meeting beings, or people, that I felt I had known forever, but sadly I have no clear memory of them now. After meeting these people I found myself in the presence of the being of light I'd met first, and he told me I had to go back.
When I came to, I was crawling up the beach coughing, because I'd swallowed a lot of water, feeling like I'd been away forever, on the longest journey. When I, many years later, recounted the experience for my mother she told me only two or three minutes could have passed during the whole incident.
For many years I repressed the memory of my experience, unconsciously feeling I'd been forced from that beautiful place that was so dear to me, to return to this sorrowful earth. I didn't remember anything until many years later. But still, even unconsciously, the insights from my NDE had changed the way I looked at life.The most important things I learned was the meaning of unconditional love, which is our true nature and the innermost nature of life itself, and I learned not to fear death. As long as we are afraid of death, we will also be afraid of life, and we won't be able to comprehend or express our true selves, which is just as loving and beautiful as the beings I encountered in my experience.
Good luck to you all!
L. M.
