I left my Heart in Heaven.I used to believe that death was the end.
I used to believe that life on earth was the only life we had.
What transpired to me will alter the above statements and allow for the most wonderful feelings to never end.
Late Fall 1987, I had been in the hospital for quite a while because of an illness called "Guillian Barre Syndrome". I was on life-support, paralyzed from head to toe, in an excruciating pain. If that wasn't enough they were some complications. I will spare you the details of the agony.
The whole experience began when I started feeling that death was coming, I can still smell it! That part, to me, is still very painful to remember. It was a slow and painful death. One day or night, I couldn't make the difference at the end, I felt like my heart and my lungs were going to explode, I knew it was only a matter of moments. After that critical period, the pain suddenly stopped. I opened my eyes to see if the doctors were in my room, I found it strange that the pain would suddenly stop. I opened my eyes and I saw what seemed to be a priest and few other people. I could only see their shadows but I knew he was a religious man and I thought of the others as members of my family. I immediately assumed that the doctors had called my family and a priest (traditions, you know...) for my final moments. The priest had got my attention for some reasons, perhaps because he was very tall, and very attractive for a priest! There was a light coming from behind them, a very bright light. It was blinding me. I thought it was coming from the nurse station. The priest seemed to look at me as if he was saying "It's all right, you can go". I closed my eyes and I let myself go.
In a matter of seconds, I started viewing periods of my life, everything flashing before me as if it was on a reel of film scrolling upwards, really fast. After the viewing, I felt ready to go. I then felt some kind of pressure coming from inside my body and out through my mouth. I knew that was my last breath. Everything went silent. Few moments after that, I felt I was still around, I opened my eyes again to see what was going on and I saw the priest still standing at the foot of my bed with the others. He started communicating with me without talking. He explained what was happening to me. I understood what he was telling me the second he was thinking it. My questions were answered as I was thinking them. I don't remember if I have communicated with the other beings, but I know that they were there as some kind of followers, or students. I just couldn't believe that only the body dies, I was still able to think, to look, to feel!! I wanted to know more (I have an adventurous mind). He told me I will know more, and that he had been sent to escort me to the light. I was able to see that light coming from behind them, the same light which I thought was coming from the nurse station. He then told me it was time to go. I guess he felt I was insecure, he took my hand and looked at me with such tenderness (if I would have had my heart still, it would have melted for sure) I will never forget his beautiful and deep eyes. I felt his love and compassion, his confidence and his knowledge all at once. His love was filling me with such warmth! I wasn't worried anymore. I trusted him, I even had the impression that I knew him and he knew me.
I then felt some kind of vibrations, and I felt I was being sucked up in a whirling motion, at an incredible speed, into a large dark tunnel. In a matter of maybe (earth time) a few seconds, I found myself on my back, the palm of my hands up and my feet pointing forward. It seemed to be a symbolic position. I remember looking at myself and realizing that I was no longer attached to my body. In my mind, the memory of my body was still fresh so I had the impression to still be in it even though I wasn't. I guess it would be like looking in a mirror and not seeing your reflection.
As we were going through the tunnel, I heard a beautiful music, very soft singing, or more like humming. I felt elevated by the music. I felt peace and comfort. As we reached the light, the feelings became very intense. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever felt! I thought it was such a cool and fascinating experience. I must have asked what it was that I was feeling so strongly coming from the light, because I remember being told that the light is produced by the love of the Divine Master, the Almighty. His love is so strong that it produces a light powerful enough to go through different realms! No matter where you are in his Kingdom, you always feel his love. I felt embraced by the light, I was making one with it, I felt free, I felt very much alive, I felt complete. The feelings are very difficult to describe with words because they are way, way beyond that.
I wish that moment would have lasted for eternity, but for reasons still unknown to me today, I had to come back. As I was in the comfort of the light, I suddenly felt myself being sucked down in the same fashion I had gone up. The motion abruptly stopped, and my soul slowly reentered my body. I then felt very cold, very very cold, and I was feeling aches and pains all over again. I opened my eyes and my suspicions were confirmed, I was back in my body, in the hospital room. I didn't understand why I was back, I wanted to stay in that beautiful place, I wanted to learn more about it, I wanted to explore. I wanted to stay with my dear angel. I was missing him already. I felt like part of me was missing. I was thinking about what had just happened and I felt his hand gently touching my head. I felt comforted and secure and fell asleep. From that moment on, my health quickly improved. The doctors were amazed at my recovery.
I have talked to my family about what had happened to me but no one seemed to really want to discuss it. It is only years later that I have learned that in fact, at one time, they thought I was died but I came back. Well it isn't just a thought to me, I have died and came back.
I will always feel blessed by the experience and I'll forever be grateful for what I have seen, felt and most importantly learned. I know I will go back when the time is right. I have to, like the song "I left my heart in San Franciso", well I left mine in Heaven!