{"id":720,"date":"2009-04-30T15:36:52","date_gmt":"2009-04-30T20:36:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.aleroy.com\/blog\/?p=720"},"modified":"2020-01-10T09:55:40","modified_gmt":"2020-01-10T15:55:40","slug":"eileens-story-attempted-suicide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aleroy.com\/blog\/archives\/720\/eileens-story-attempted-suicide","title":{"rendered":"Eileen&#8217;s Story, (attempted suicide)."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A Near Death Experience<br \/>\nDear Spiritual Traveler,<\/p>\n<p>The following story is about a dear friend<br \/>\nof mine who almost let her past end her life.<br \/>\nFortunately, her crisis led her to a deeper<br \/>\nunderstanding of her true identity as<br \/>\na spiritual being and encouraged her to<br \/>\nuse the tools of creation to create the<br \/>\nkind of life she wanted to live.<\/p>\n<p>Enjoy!<\/p>\n<p>Eileen stumbled up the motel stairs,<br \/>\nblinded by the despair she felt. She<br \/>\ncarefully clutched her bag, guarding<br \/>\nthe keys to her escape. Glancing around<br \/>\nthe hall to be sure no one would disturb<br \/>\nher, Eileen slowly unlocked the<br \/>\ndoor to her room.<\/p>\n<p>Safely inside, she began to unpack her<br \/>\nbag. She contemplated her plan as she<br \/>\nsystematically lined the bottles of pills<br \/>\non the night stand. No one could stop her<br \/>\nnow. She had driven out of town, registered<br \/>\nunder a false name, and placed the &#8220;Do<br \/>\nNot Disturb&#8221; sign on her door. This time<br \/>\nshe would make no mistakes. She would take<br \/>\nthe pills quickly to assure that death<br \/>\nwould come before she could be rescued.<br \/>\nHer suicide was not a cry for help.<br \/>\nShe wanted to die.<\/p>\n<p>For the last fifteen years, Eileen had<br \/>\nworked hard in therapy to bring her life<br \/>\nback together. She was raising her two<br \/>\nsons and had managed to complete her masters<br \/>\ndegree in counseling. The painful memories<br \/>\nof childhood abuse had not kept her from<br \/>\nsecuring a job as a college professor.<br \/>\nShe had learned to cope with the limitations<br \/>\nof a multiple personality.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, she had recently uncovered<br \/>\nmemories with which she could not live. Her<br \/>\nfamily had subjected her to ritualistic abuse;<br \/>\nconsequently, she had participated and observed<br \/>\nevents that are too horrifying to describe.<br \/>\nThese memories were more than she could bear.<\/p>\n<p>Even though she was a child when these events<br \/>\noccurred, she considered herself evil and wanted<br \/>\nto die. She loved her two sons, but she felt<br \/>\nthat they would be better off without her.<br \/>\nHer first suicide attempt had failed. This<br \/>\ntime she had to succeed.<\/p>\n<p>Gulping as many pills as she could, Eileen<br \/>\nwaited for the inevitable. It was not long<br \/>\nbefore she drifted into unconsciousness,<br \/>\nthe darkness of death overtaking her.<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly the darkness opened, and Eileen found<br \/>\nherself standing at the end of a tunnel of light.<br \/>\nShe moved easily through the tunnel to the other<br \/>\nside where she was surrounded by the most<br \/>\nbeautiful light she had ever experienced. She<br \/>\nwas filled with the feelings of love.<\/p>\n<p>Even though she was without her body, she was<br \/>\nconscious of her individual self. She found<br \/>\nherself in the Presence of God. She knew<br \/>\nimmediately she was a part of God, and she<br \/>\nwas one with God. There was no sense of<br \/>\nseparation; there was only God.<\/p>\n<p>Eileen had committed suicide because she<br \/>\nbelieved the events in her life were unforgivable.<br \/>\nIn this light, she discovered there was no need<br \/>\nfor forgiveness because in God there is no judgment.<br \/>\nShe was totally loved just as she was.<\/p>\n<p>The message came for her to return to fulfill her<br \/>\nmission on earth. Two days later, she returned to her<br \/>\nbody, experiencing a peace that passes all understanding.<br \/>\nAlthough there is no way to be sure, Eileen believes<br \/>\nshe died and spent two days in the Presence of God.<\/p>\n<p>Upon her return, Eileen called a friend to ask for<br \/>\nhelp. Her friend called the police, who then took<br \/>\nher to the hospital. She was in such a state of peace<br \/>\nthat the doctor discharged her, bypassing the usual<br \/>\npsychiatric observation time.<\/p>\n<p>When asked what she learned from her crisis, Eileen<br \/>\nsays she now knows she can go through anything. She<br \/>\nhas learned that she is a part of God and that God<br \/>\nis all light and love. She is no longer so critical<br \/>\nof herself because God does not judge.<\/p>\n<p>Eileen says that her life has not been without<br \/>\nchallenges. She had to make a conscious effort<br \/>\nto change her thoughts, bringing them in line<br \/>\nwith what she learned in her near death experience.<br \/>\nShe continues to use affirmations and prayer to<br \/>\ndeprogram her old way of thinking, allowing her to<br \/>\nexpress more of her true identity as a part of God.<\/p>\n<p>I hope this story will inspire you to let go<br \/>\nof the past and embrace your true identity as<br \/>\na child of God.<\/p>\n<p>Have a great day and remember to think<br \/>\npositive thoughts.<\/p>\n<p>Marty Varnadoe Dow, LCSW<\/p>\n<p>(Reprinted with permission from the author, please visit this <a href=\"http:\/\/free-positive-thought.com\/\"> web site<\/a> at for a positive experience.) <\/p>\n<p style='text-align:left'>&copy; 2009 &#8211; 2020, <a href='https:\/\/aleroy.com\/blog'>Lekatt<\/a>. All rights reserved. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A Near Death Experience Dear Spiritual Traveler,<\/p>\n<p>The following story is about a dear friend of mine who almost let her past end her life. Fortunately, her crisis led her to a deeper understanding of her true identity as a spiritual being and encouraged her to use the tools of creation to create the kind [&#8230;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[89,29,14,11,368,370,369,2626,367],"class_list":["post-720","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-death-experience","tag-god","tag-love","tag-near-death-experience","tag-near-death-experiences","tag-near-death-suicide","tag-peace","tag-peaceful","tag-suicide","tag-suicide-attempt","odd"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Eileen&#039;s Story, (attempted suicide). - Lekatt Thoughtful Living<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"She contemplated her plan as she systematically lined the bottles of pillson the night stand. 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