{"id":3230,"date":"2010-05-26T05:49:37","date_gmt":"2010-05-26T11:49:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.aleroy.com\/blog\/?p=3230"},"modified":"2010-09-21T12:10:07","modified_gmt":"2010-09-21T17:10:07","slug":"letters-05","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aleroy.com\/blog\/archives\/3230\/letters-05","title":{"rendered":"Letters 05, compliment"},"content":{"rendered":"

(For an explanation of this catagory, and the letters posted here, go to the first post<\/a> in this catagory).<\/em>
\n———-
\nThanks for the excellent videos on suicide. I’m a psychologist, I did lose one client to suicide. It was horrifying, all those attempts she made, all those calls at all hours, all that agony. Her life was pain. Period.<\/p>\n

I felt incompetent and inept, which I surely was. I know you cannot stop someone who is DETERMINED to kill him\/herself, but if you are a therapist, you hope you can, oh, I don’t know. I guess it’s a fantasy of power, keeping someone from suicide.<\/p>\n

Her suicide was 3 years ago, if I correctly recall, after I quit seeing her, and tried to refer her to someone more experienced. I was an intern and wasn’t even a doctor yet. As I gained my understanding of how little I could do, I felt more and more helpless. And yes, frustrated. I had SUCH a passion to help this lovely, intelligent, good-hearted young woman. I believed I could help her, when many before me had failed. Finally, my supervisor told me I had to refer her to someone else. It was painful and a relief. And THAT made me feel guilty.<\/p>\n

In fact, I will never stop feeling guilty about it. I go through periods where I think about her and think, if only I had ______. I had told her about NDEs and how people say if you have a successful suicide, you have to go back and finish your life. She said she believed this because of her religion.<\/p>\n

I’m rambling. I apologize. I do wish to tell you that your videos about suicide were helpful to me. I look forward to my own death, I have a selfish need to see her again and learn from her experience.<\/p>\n

Be well.<\/p>\n

© 2010, Lekatt<\/a>. All rights reserved. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(For an explanation of this catagory, and the letters posted here, go to the first post in this catagory). ———- Thanks for the excellent videos on suicide. I’m a psychologist, I did lose one client to suicide. It was horrifying, all those attempts she made, all those calls at all hours, all that agony. 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