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Author Topic: Want to talk  (Read 11742 times)
Sam
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« on: August 13, 2007, 02:01:45 AM »

If you need to talk about your experiences or just anything post it here.
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. -- George Carlin
pharmgirl
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« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2007, 10:36:25 AM »

my husband has started treatment today for pain-pill addiction.i feel partly responsible,because i didn't notice the signs of addiction and should have. :( :(but at least he has seen a doctor and has admitted a problem,thats the first step they say.i pray for a resolution to this situation,but i know it will be an ever going battle of temptation and resistance.i wish icould draw this pain and suffering out of him like venom from a snake,but all i can do is support him and remind him that there are test for us around every corner.am i strong enough to help carry this burden that is upon us?sometimes i feel weak,i want to run,but that isn't answer,only an excuse from dealing with the problem.i feel alone,i feel tired,but i cannot afford to tired,he needs me and i will be there for him in every aspect.
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Sam
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« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2007, 02:38:33 PM »

You are not alone. Please don't feel guilty, just give what you can and take life one day at a time. Tell us more as you go and we can support your efforts. I will pray for you and him.


Love
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. -- George Carlin
NowIsForever
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« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2007, 08:30:10 PM »

i feel alone,i feel tired,but i cannot afford to tired,he needs me and i will be there for him in every aspect.

Dear pharmgirl,

That's wonderful that you will be there when he needs you!  And if my experience is any indication (food addiction which I have finally after more than 25 years been able to conquer),  he will need your every indication of support.  Please, please, please, don't ever give up!  There will be a light at the end of the tunnel and you will be so happy when you get there.

Relapses are probably inevitable, but it has been my experience that you learn from them each time they occur.  Every relapse has driven me with greater confidence toward my goal which if my projections are accurate will be sometime in mid-January.  I am half way there now after loosing 90 pounds and my optimism has no bounds.  Please stay the course; I too will pray for both of you.

Love Always, namaste,

Charles@wehaveforever.com
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"We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that a savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter." -- Mark Twain
pharmgirl
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« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2007, 05:20:10 AM »

thank you all for the encouraging words and prayers.i have faith that god will see us through this.do you believe that sometimes we are tested?i believe this is a test of faith.i also believe that the devil is around every corner and there is an unseen war for our souls. i will not lose this fight nor allow my husband to lose this battle either.the cross is where we leave our burdens and walk in faith.i know the devil has tested my faith many times in the past,and will test it in the future as well.again,thank you for the kind words of encouragement and all the prayers are needed!i will keep you all posted in the next few days as to how our battle is going.until then,god bless you all and thankyou for being my "unseen angels".with the deepest gratititude-pharmgirl.
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chet
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« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2007, 05:37:16 AM »

Hi pharmgirl,

I think I can relate to what you're going through and facing. I've stood by the side of my husband as he faced alcoholism and mental illness. God it's so difficult! Yet, as women, we find it natural to want to help, to nurture. We believe in love.

If I may say so, you sound 'burdened'. You want to run away from this burden. Who wouldn't?! I know that sort of burden, believe you me. I've wanted to run away. But I stayed.  :(

I will pray hard that your husband stays off his drugs. I will also pray hard for you - I hope and pray that all works out for you and your loved one. However, always remember that ultimately, in the end, you are only responsible for yourself. This is a lesson I learned the hard way.

So when you say, ''I feel partly responsible because I didn't notice the signs' or 'I will not ALLOW my husband to lose this fight' just try to remember that you are not responsible for him. It's hard, I know!  :)
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pharmgirl
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« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2007, 07:45:16 AM »

it has been exactly one week now since i first found this site and my new friends here.i must admit,one week ago today i felt like i was in the middle of the crossroads,lost without direction.my husband has started his treatment and already i can see a change in him,almost as if a light has been turned on inside.i know we still have many,many trials ahead,but like i said before,we just have to make it between now and bedtime.words cannot express how grateful i am for all the encouragement,prayers and kindess that has been shown to me in these past 7 days.and chet,your right,only HE can make it work,no one else can do it for him.i hope your husband is doing well,and i too will pray for you-for strength,for comfort,and above all,for peace.thank you too sam,for your kind words and encouragement,and namaste-good for you for winning in your battle and never giving up!so,here's my latest update,so far-so good,and i will continue to update my "unseen angels"as time goes on.god bless you all!with love,pharmgirl :)
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pharmgirl
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« Reply #7 on: December 01, 2007, 07:42:16 PM »

it has been almost 7 weeks now since my husband has started therapy for pain pill addiction.he is doing well and on the road to recovery.he has been seeing a thereapist weekly,and seems to have made great progress.he has come to terms with issues from his past-alcoholic father,mother asking to leave home at the age of 16 because his stepfather made her choose between her husband or her child,basically being on his own since he was 16 and living with that inner pain for 18 years.i believe we will get through this,one day at a time.i finally found the courage to to tell my boss what has been going on,she and her husband have been going through the same situation since february.she has been very supportive,and where we both work in pharmacy and deal with some "drug seekers" everyday,i did not want that stigma applied to my husband.last night i felt what it was like to be on the "other side" of the counter,i have had my husband filling his maintenance medicine at another pharmacy in another town so our problem would not be "revealed"  to those i work with (basically i did not want to be the topic of conversation around the water cooler so to speak).when we arrived at the prior pharmacy to fill his medicine they stated they did not feel comfortable filling the prescription because the did not believe his doctor to be certifed to write the prescription drug for his treatment.i was humbled very quickly,knowing we were there for help,knowing the courage and humiliation he has felt for having to admit his problem and seek  help and yet basically being treated as a "drug seeker".needless to say,it has opened my mind and heart to those that sometimes we are quick to judge or jump to conclusion about.i hope that any who read these messages of mine every have to go through what i have been through these last 7 weeks,and i hope no one is ever made to feel the way i felt last night.it was almost as if i were under a microscope,and my character was being questioned.like i said,it was a very humbling exerience to feel as if you are a bad person when all we want is for him to overcome this illness.i know now that it is an illness,you wouldn't deny a cancer patient nausea medication due to radiation therapy,or insulin to a diabetic,but because of the stigma that goes with pain pill or even alcohol abuse,it's almost as if people are ready to put you in a category.i now this experience has now opened my eyes and my heart to be more compassionate to some i myself were quick to judge.i wanted to update you all on our progress and just share this latest tidbit with you.today will be a good day. :)
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Sam
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« Reply #8 on: December 01, 2007, 11:11:50 PM »

I think you are doing fine. It seems like others are always judging us, but we can't let that stop us from doing the right thing. God Bless/

Love
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. -- George Carlin
chet
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« Reply #9 on: December 04, 2007, 06:31:54 AM »

Hi pharmgirl, good to hear from you, glad you posted an update  :). I do sympathise with your feelings  - I know a bit about social stigma. It's awful! You feel like the lowest of the low, even though you yourself have done nothing wrong. You feel tarred with the same stick.

I think I can understand where you're coming from, in terms of using a pharmacist in another town to minimise exposure - and then despite of that, being made to feel like a social pariah.

We live in a small-ish town in England. My husband (bipolar and alcoholic) has gone totally manic, with alcoholism adding fuel to the fire, in quite a small community. I'm sure you can imagine how embarrassing that is!!!!  :-[  We were a quiet family - now, many people know him as a 'weirdo' for his 'anti-social behaviour'.

When it's a drug/alcohol addiction it's bad enough, but personally I've got to the point where I'm making the excuse that my husband is JUST an alcoholic!  ;D - because mental illness carries such a stigma. I wouldn't mind so much for myself, but my teenage son is afraid that his mates (friends) will realise his dad is mentally ill. In our town there is so much alcohol abuse and drugs that doing them is almost acceptable! But not mentall illness.

Experiences like these do make you realise that we shouldn't prejudge people - no one knows how or why a person has got to the point where they're living on the streets... or needing medication... etc. It doesn't mean they're bad people!

As you say,

Quote
this experience has now opened my eyes and my heart to be more compassionate to some i myself were quick to judge

I totally agree.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2007, 06:38:24 AM by chet » Logged
nobleangel
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« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2007, 11:53:15 AM »

Hello, I need to talk to someone. I feel as if I'm loosing my mind. Depression seems to be my life. I'm at the point where I don't care about anything anymore. All I know is pain.
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« Reply #11 on: December 29, 2007, 12:45:55 PM »

Nobleangel,

Always happy to talk. What's on your mind?
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Sam
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Thoughtful Living
« Reply #12 on: December 30, 2007, 03:02:32 AM »

Hello, I need to talk to someone. I feel as if I'm loosing my mind. Depression seems to be my life. I'm at the point where I don't care about anything anymore. All I know is pain.

Yes, feel free to talk with us and share your thoughts. On one need be depressed. This site has many good articles and near death experiences that have helped others, tell us what you need.

Love
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. -- George Carlin
nobleangel
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« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2007, 09:17:04 AM »

I don't know what I need. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up. I'm so very tired of it all.
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Sam
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Thoughtful Living
« Reply #14 on: December 30, 2007, 11:06:53 AM »

What would make you feel better?

Have you read this?

http://www.aleroy.com/blog/?p=78
« Last Edit: December 30, 2007, 08:06:14 PM by Sam » Logged
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. -- George Carlin
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