Possible NDE or What?In 1985, I was in the hospital preparing to undergo surgery to remove part of the heart lining. Fluid had been building up over a ten day period at an unbelievable amount. They had gone in 3 different times and removed the fluid with a needle, but within 3 days it would have built back up to about 16 ounces.
This is too much for the heart to sustain, so they decided on surgery. I was not afraid, as they (the doctors) had told me that this is a fairly simple surgery. They took me to surgery and administered the anesthetic and I went under. I don't know how much time elapsed, before I heard the nurse tell the doctor that my pressure was dropping. She repeated this 3 times and by the third time was sounding panic-stricken. At this point I discovered I could hear crystal clear, as if I had been deaf before. I, also felt as if I had been fighting and I just gave up.
The most undescribable feeling of peace came over me and I heard a voice say "Judy, you are judging yourself much too harshly." I knew then that I had been forgiven of all of my past mistakes in life. I, then, started into a complete, total darkness, but I was not afraid. I felt I was in a tunnel and wanted to go through it. I just felt so happy. I felt as if I had the weight of the world on my shoulders previously and had not even realized it till then.
All of a sudden I was pulled back. I woke up in the recovery room, in terrible pain. Both sides of my ribcage hurt and upon awakening I found that I, also, had a v-shaped burn mark in the center of my chest. I spent 10 days more in ICU.
After being discharged from the hospital, for a long time I felt as if I was just visiting here and I longed to go "Home". I wish I could say that this incident changed my life for the better, but I became a totally different person. The total opposite of what I had been. Before, I had been shy and unsure of myself. All of a sudden, I wanted to go out. I started drinking and running around. My marriage almost broke up. I could not say no to anything or anyone.
After about 2 years of acting this way, I had a nervous breakdown. After treatment and counseling for a few months, I finally returned to my normal self. Although, I would still have vivid dreams of wanting to go "home".
My beloved husband stood by me during this time and for the next 12 years, everything went well. He passed away in October 1997. I pray everyday that he has forgiven me for that time and I don't know why I reacted in such a manner, that was so totally the opposite of my true personality.
My views on life has changed. I used to believe in "heaven" and "hell". Now I believe that life is a continuation. I do not believe in any organized religion. I know that death is just the closing of one door and the opening of another.