A Near Death Experience, No. 42.

Too Much Pot.

Hi. It seems like everyone starts out here by saying, "I don't know if this is an NDE or not, but here goes." I think I am going to start out by saying, don't think I am a freaky drugged-out psycho who has no grip on reality. I am a normal kid who has a really loving family and good friends who are sometimes jerks. I have a deep underlying faith in God and Jesus Christ, but recently have been ignoring the things that I know in my heart to be right. Just for fun.

The other night I was hanging out with my closest friends and we started smoking pot. It was really strong, but I have smoked pot at least 5 times before. Well, I started to be distracted by the feel of energy around me, and as I began to concentrate on myself (in particular the energy I was feeling from my body in itself), I began to feel voices -- thousands of tiny voices inside my skin, that made up my skin. Realizing that this was a really important thing to remember, and somehow thinking I would forget, different consciousnesses began to seemingly tell me to write down something to help me remember. I did, but I kept remembering things that these "subconsciousnesses" were saying -- they were constantly talking about things that I would increasingly remember as they went on.

This is starting to sound nuts, but as they were talking (and they were so excited that I was being aware of them) I began to see the whole scheme of life -- a huge tapestry in which choices, even on a molecular level, change the course of a life, and that every choice creates a whole different reality, but that every reality can change by any tiny choice.

This sounds like a preconceived notion just being magnified, and maybe it was. But, the understanding I received was phenomenal. For hours I could comprehend why life is, and what happens when you lose your chance.

Why I am telling this to you is that, as I realized why we are here on the earth, I saw in a flash the choices I was making in my life would lead to my death (by this time, I was completely in a subconscious world and anything on a "real" plane of existence wasn't registering) and at that point I could understand the meaning of a lost soul. I was at the edge of a huge precipice at the edge of reality and of death. I looked behind me and saw blackness and the pain that can only be described as a thousand knives and saws cutting my burning soul (although that really doesn't even touch the surface) and in front of me, I saw reality -- my friends shaking me and yelling at me, but around me I saw those spirits that were a part of me, and felt the presence of God. I could feel myself falling, all this time understanding the great mistakes I had made with my life...

In desperation, I began to plead with the Lord to let me have another chance. I told him I would make any decision differenty this time, just as long as I got another chance. I began to feel helpless, like there was no way to change my actions at this point. Yet, I felt a pause in this circular whirlwind down into the depths of death and with that I physically stepped back into my body, into consciousness and started praying.

Other things happened that night that I chock up to the rest of a really bad trip. But I know for a fact that my experience was real. I don't know how to describe it, and humans are so fond of putting names on things. I didn't see a big tunnel of light, but I did get a chance to live and although it might not be a NDE, I appreciate my life more, and I am afraid of messing up my chance to fulfill my mission on the earth.



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