Fell 25ft. onto a Concrete Floor.
I have been watching and reading the messages and information in this group for about two years now. I have not posted here before though. I am always a little better at reading what others have to say than expressing how I feel, but I think that it is time for me to write in and say what is on my mind.
My Near Death Experience was April 29, 1994 and, of course, I have never been the same since. I am an Electrician and was at work and received a 277 Volt shock for about 10 seconds and then fell about 25 feet onto a concrete floor. I went to the hospital in an Intensive Care Ambulance and tried to leave here twice while in the ambulance. My Near Death Experience had occured while I was being electrocuted. I can write more detail on my Near Death Experience at a later date because that is only part of why I wanted to write in.
On September 3, 2004 the Friday of Labor Day Weekend a girl that I graduated high school with in 1992 was brutally murdered in her home. (Jane Doe) is her name. She was murdered by an ex-boyfriend and then he killed himself in her home. I think that trying to understand a murder would be very difficult anyway, but to someone that has had a Near Death Experience, I think that it is much more difficult to try and understand. I know because of what happened to me that Jane is ok and is home now and I can feel when she is around me. The part that I don't understand is that I cannot understand why someone would want to murder someone else. When I had my NDE, I felt nothing but pure unconditional love. I guess that is why I cannot understand why anyone would want to murder another person. It is already very hard to be back here after my NDE, but I think that this murder has made it much harder for me. My NDE is still so real to me after 11 1/2 years and most of the time it feels that I am out of place here and that I don't belong here anymore. I feel that I had the choice to return here and that I am here for a reason. Sometimes it sure feels like a struggle!
I cannot understand why this world can't be more like the other side or home. I truly believe that the potential is there for this world to be so much better than it is. It seems that the vivid memory of my NDE and the image of this world as it is today are growing apart more all of the time instead of coming together.
For the second year in a row I am in a holiday grief recovery group. Two weeks ago I had shared the story of my NDE with the group. As many of us know, sharing our story is a very difficult thing to do. At the end of the night some people in the group had said to me how much I had helped them just by telling about what had happened to me. It feels good to maybe help people that at one time had thought that when you die you are gone and that is it. It is very easy for us to know that there is no such thing as dying and you are really are never gone because there is no such thing as gone. There is only a shift in consciousness. The first year that I went to the grief group, I had met someone in the group that also has had an NDE. Meeting her is probably the best thing that has happened to me since my accident. It feels good to know that you are not alone and there is another person who can understand you. It helps with the feeling of being all alone that I (we) can I'm sure all understand.
I am hoping that by writing in here, that maybe someone can understand me and my difficulty with Jane's murder. I hope that nobody here has experienced anything like this because it makes my NDE much more difficult. It also makes it much harder to try and feel like I really fit into this world.
Thank You All For Listening, M.M.
(The group will help this individual come to terms with their experience. I have asked for more details on the experience, and if I get them, they will be posted.)