A Near Death Experience, No. 232.

An Entity of Love.

I was seventeen years old in 1989 and had mistakenly mixed the wrong medications together which I found out later can cause heart arrythmias or affect the heart. I had been having serious problems with acute bronchitis and already was having major difficulties breathing anyway. I had been bedridden for a few days and my friend Jane was with me when this happened, because she lived with me and my mom at the time.

She had been reading to me to cheer me up next to my bed. All of a sudden it was like I had this profound calmness or sense that I was about to die, to this day I don't know how I knew that. Suddenly right after that I remember feeling my chest flooded with what I can only describe as tightness, like an intense tightness as if something was squeezing me on the inside, but it didn't actually hurt, it just felt very strange.

Then it felt like I was tilting somehow (even though I was just lying down) and I recall feeling as if I was falling into some darkness. The next part, if anyone can understand this, I remember with a different kind of memory, like it was imprinted on my deepest sense of self. There was only what I can describe as a churning blackness, like black walls that were soft but very thick, moving, but gently.

Then there was this little bright circle that kept getting bigger and larger and then it was like I was floating into this really bright, and I mean incredibly white lighted atmosphere where I could not see anything, even though I could still "see".

The only scary part of this whole experience was when this bizarre "thing" appeared and started reaching for me and seemed to howl like it was going to devour me and then bam! It was like something incredibly powerful scooped me up and whisked me away from this evil thing and that's when I experienced what I think was God or Jesus or some kind of awesome entity.

The weird part is, I distinctly felt that this entity changed from an array of lights and moving texture to a form of a more recognizable person. But it was not a person. That's what was so weird. It was like I could tell that the 'entity' was attempting to comfort me by appearing in a form I felt comfortable with. Then I remember feeling that we could talk without words, like we were communicating instantly and 'it' understood literally every single nuance of my character, my feelings, my entire being. I felt like I was in the presence of a parental type entity that was so incredibly WISE and so amazingly patient and loving and kind.

I felt the fastest flash of the events of my life and then the entity 'spoke' and said "You have to go back, it's not your time yet" even though I only 'sensed' the words. I distinctly remember begging not to go and then actually arguing with it, but not in an impolite or angry way, just insisting that I do not want to go back, and that I wanted to stay with 'it'. I swear, I felt like a little kid with this entity, but at the same time a little selfish because when I was with 'it', I felt so much peace and sanctuary and love and stability.



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