A Near Death Experience, No. 223.

OBE like NDE.

I had an out-of-body experience while I was awake. It was sort of like an NDE because while out of body I realized I had a choice of going back to my body and finishing my life or not. I was healthy and happy and sober at the time, not having ever taken drugs or medications or anything. Obviously, I decided to come back.

One thing I remember is that the walls were transparent energy, and that for a moment I became aware of the very nature and purpose of that energy.

Another thing I remember is looking inside my head. As strange as it may seem, I actually witnessed my own brain dreaming while I was not in my body.

I also remember seeing a lot of what people call angels, or luminescent beings. All I can say about that is that there is much joy in heaven (or wherever those angels are).

When I realized that if I did not go back to my body I would die, I sort of panicked and in my enthusiasm to get back into my body, I shot off the recliner, flew across the room and hit the wall.

I seem to have had a life full of bizarre experiences, and I imagine most people think I'm a bit odd, so I don't usually talk about them. After I tell people about a couple weird things that have happened to me, they sort of give me a funny look and don't inquire about the rest, as if they're afraid of me, or what I have to say.

I realize that a person can become fixated by these kinds of events in their life, so much so that they can miss out on what else life has to offer.

I am working on something, but it's very difficult. I call it fundamental change. What is the difference between one entity's awareness and another? What causes this difference? What causes a person's level of awareness, and what they are capable of, to increase? What controls the rate of increase? What can one do, or not do, to cause a fundamental change in one's awareness?

Incarnating works, forcing oneself to experience physical life first hand, one will become aware of nature, of one's nature and relationship. But what is the difference between a life well-lived, and a life wasted? No life is really a waste, but some lives cause a greater fundamental change in a person.

No one really goes down, or backwards, or from being fundamentally ahead, to being fundamentally behind. Those who really have, have, and will have more. Those who appear to lose, just never really had it, they looked good for awhile, but couldn't maintain it, they were not fundamentally where they thought they were.

There is no judgment there. I realize that my abilities are very limited compared to many. But what to do to really move ahead, to facilitate oneself, to be able to see what one currently cannot see?

To not think about, to just live, to forget about anything but living itself, to just plow ahead doing what life demands, and what most people seem to be doing, keeping busy, finding ways to keep busy, making plans, saving, building, organizing, whatever it takes to have a square meal, a place to sleep, for oneself and one's loved ones. Eventually one begins to question.

Could you tell us the nature of the energy you observed?

No, I could not and cannot remember what the purpose was. I found it remarkable that something as lowly as the atoms of a wall could seem to have a modicum of awareness and play a part of a greater purpose. I do remember something about vibration. It was as if everything was vibrating at a sub-atomic level, as if everything was disintegrating and reintegrating in every half-moment.

Is reincarnation a reality?

Yes, I have reason to expect that reincarnation is a reality. I was once visited by a spirit of sorts during a quiet, soul-searching moment -- spirit of sorts -- my apologies but you didn't leave a name! The entity took me on a bit of a (what I think was a) reincarnational trip in which I ended up getting frightened, at which point he/she/it let me down easy.

I was shown/re-lived a life about 150-200 years ago in the area where my ancestors lived, so I am inclined to think it was me. I re-lived the life in an astonishing way, not just from her perspective, but from that of everyone involved, all at once. I am a rather skeptical person, I don't believe anything. I wouldn't have thought it so before, but what is called the akashic records really does seem to exist. At the end of the experience, I saw the person's card, in what seemed to be an endless row of cards.

It's just like a gigantic library of everything that has ever been. What did you gain from the experience.

I'm trying to think what I gained from that experience. It makes me think that we are much more than any one particular life. What we are is not just any particular life or experience. It is really impossible for me to live a life now where I am not influenced by what I have seen. It appears that we have just conveniently forgotten who/what we really are, for the sake of this experience.

It is really quite a wonderful and remarkable thing. Now I don't think I mind 'forgetting' myself, for the sake of the reward to my self, knowing full well that I am going to awaken from this little journey, having benefited from the experience, in a very profound way. I'm sure we all do to the extent that it may cause a growing awareness in each of us.

But it must take so many lives, yet I have heard a story of someone who "did it all" in one life. That really doesn't seem possible.

Once you've had a foot into another world it is not something that is easily forgotten. It can sort of mess you up because your priorities and values will probably change, so that you may feel at odds with society. You may feel alienated because no one understands what has happened to you. Worst of all, I think, one can become fixated with the experience, determined to sort it out, and perhaps the need to have one's strange experience accepted.

I think this is why, when I had a past life experience, even though immediately after the experience I had retained all of the person's vital statistics, I did not bother to even try and remember them. After all, after totally re-living the person's life from inside and out, what are a few statistics? They are nothing really, unless I suppose one is trying to prove something. But what is there to prove? The proof is going to be in the pudding anyway, when this life ends.

I should think. I would rather shoot for the heart, not the manifestations, the symbols, the appearances. They may be pretty and varied, but what is below the surface, is the source, the root of all creation, the true self?



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