A Near Death Experience, No. 201.

Life Review and NDE.

I'm struggling with verbalizing what has been locked inside me for so many years. I feel I should write first more concerning my life review. This NDE was first and foremost my wakeup...I saw myself in my nakedness fully when I went through my 'life review'...me, the 'Spirit filled, Church going, tithing, plus love offering, Christian'...this was not a pretty sight. This was also my Hell...I am my own Hell. When Jesus said entering into Hell...this was it...myself...this life review...quite frankly, it is worse than what religion describes as Hell...I'm not saying this to place fear in anyone. I would add that this life review took a time not of Hell's eternity...but...in the twinkling of an eye. Grace without a doubt took on a completely different meaning and value to me.

Eternal hell...this is the fact that who we are upon the time of leaving this realm we do take with us into eternity...Jesus isn't up there with a magic wand turning us into all perfection and all knowledge upon arrival. The Love there honors all...we don't breathe air there we breathe in Love. Is that fantastic! Your 'spiritual skin pores' breathe this in also...without toxicity...but love released. No one views anyone as beneath them, or boy, 'didn't they mess up.' Whatever we go through is viewed as being courageous in this life. Didn't Christ take sin upon his own self in this realm? We all do...we even take on other's too...being scapegoats...without knowing this...there's few of us who have not experienced having to transform this within ourselves...sometimes this is extremely difficult.

Was not Jesus courageous for this and honored? So are we. As he is our example. Hell is a prison. Jesus spoke of being in prison until the last debt was paid...he paid this debt. The question arises that if we aren't tapped with a magic wand and we arrive there as we are, what about the criminals? The insane? There are levels...and anyone can grow and learn within these levels. When I wrote about the blackness and levels outside the tunnel earlier...and I was terrified of going there, I'll say again, I was also terrified of the Father...at that point.

These levels, which are outside the tunnel of light...are places of darkness...varying depths of darkness...dependent on the depth of fear of God. Yes, I said I was terrified of the Father, but prior to my NDE I was also seeking out the truth concerning this very fear. A person who is acting out violent crimes...which would also be lacking in intimacy in any way...would have fear magnified much more so.

Jesus spoke to me of Charlie Manson at this point. His loving tenderness in speaking of him quite shocked me. Jesus knew also that I had close relatives who were intimate with someone who arrived on the Tate crime scene...therefore we heard the unpublished gruesome details within hours. I could not imagine anyone doing such atrocities to another and 'have a chance in hell,' of escaping Hell. Now, hearing Jesus speaking of 'My, Charlie'???? With such tenderness??? He said this to me...'you wonder at my love for him...at how dear he is to me...it is because I know why he did what he did...I knew Charlie from the beginning...I was there when he was a child...I know the pain that his sin is rooted in...I know his pain.'

I have read much on NDE's...I have read one widely publicized book that states that Hell is reserved for the worst of people, like Satanists. I agree with much of this author's writings...but having experienced an NDE myself, I also understand that we can make an assumption or misunderstand what we might only glimpse on the other side...and how difficult it can be to integrate it through false worldly beliefs in the world. I also am fully aware that this that I write here is not going to be popular in the least. But I can't cover this up. Jesus did come for the whole world...that would include anyone. Charlie Manson was the leader of a Satanic Cult. There is a level in this darkness provided for healing, growth, and fears dissolving. Then entering into the next level. No 'altar call' necessary. Jesus didn't have one altar call. He knows how people can be saved from themselves.

To illustrate this further...my husband (Sixwings11) gives me permission to write his NDE. He was raised in a harsh religious environment. The abuse in God's name was not spared in the least. In fact, it was made known that he was getting off easy...they were 'intervening' and being merciful compared to what God really wanted done to him to 'discipline'...like Moses standing for the Israelites so they wouldn't be wiped out. Needless to say he was fully saturated with the fear of God. He escaped into drugs and alcohol as a result. One night driving home, his brakes gave out on a steep hill. At 90 mph he hit a telephone pole.

The next thing he knew he was being led by someone up a hill in a dark place...from there he could see a valley of many people reaching out to the light in the distance...they were dancing and singing and praising God and they were bathed in this light...this level was next to entering in...but surrounding them in this valley there were these statue-type figures, with their backs to all of this, about 8' apart. These being surrounded by darkness (outer darkness?) My husband was led up to one of these (by a stiff arm and hand placed in the middle of his back)...he saw this clay type coffin statue as himself...he knew he would be going into this...this would not be permanent...but until he learned and healed, he knew he would not be released into the next 'valley'.

He saw himself...and it was...as was me...Hell. He immediately cried out for Jesus and turned around and there Jesus was! (where can I go that you aren't there) He leaped on Jesus'...arms and legs wrapped around him! Not wanting even to touch the ground that this figure, himself, was on. In those moments...Jesus comforted, and ministered to him, and spoke to him on returning to this earth realm. My husband during this time would not budge from his position on Jesus! He didn't want to go anywhere at all...only right there clinging completely on Jesus! (Forgive me...this is extremely humorous to me...his wife...we're talking about a very large man here! I have known his side of Mr. Tuffguy! Jesus must have superhero strengths!) Next...he was over his body which was out of the car and being attended to by EMT's...one had paddles in his hands...he didn't want to re-enter his body...then he heard 'I'll try one more time'. So he entered.

We did not know each other at this time...but we did have both our NDE's within 2 months of each other?! The moment we met...we both recognized each other...the 'don't I know you?' quickly led to our memory of us both being pre-ordained to be life partners...which we lightly treaded on at first, although we were both knowing this within our own selves. Pertaining to the darkness. There is much report of young children experiencing this darkness. They speak of the love in the darkness. My husband wanted me to add this...in the darkness the same love I previously described as breathing in, is there in the darkness also. I am the light in the darkness. The light is Love. Healing, nurturing Love.




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