I beg of you not to commit suicide. In my life time I have had four NDEs.
The first one happened when I was 11 years of age, I went through a terrifying sexual assault, I died because they hung me by the neck several times. I saw what I believe to be the Messiah. I was comforted and I felt great forgiveness and love. I was told that I should not have died and that I had a job to do, I was told that I would have to return.
At age 15 my mother died after a prolonged and painful battle with cancer. I couldn't take it, and I tried to commit suicide. It was here that I found what I call the Gray Lands. A place that is cold, gray, without sound or sensation. I saw spheres that looked like burned out lightbulbs. I heard a voice telling me that these souls were in storage, and that they had committed suicide, this was the place where they would be.
I felt something like a hand grab me and yank me out of the Gray Lands. I traveled at great speed through time and space, and I finally felt myself being shoved forcefully back into my body.
Since this experience I have died twice more, and have received instruction from the counsel of 13, as well as having life reviews with the light.
The Gray Lands scare me, it is the last place I would want to go or see anyone else go. If life gets miserable take a few breaths and then watch a sunset or something else that the Creator has given us to enjoy. Then go back to living life one day at a time.